19-09-2011, 07:02 AM
The wording in red book step three âGamblers anonymous is a spiritual program, it is not a religious fellowship.â It is important to understand that anyone can find the healing spiritual recovery without having any kind of religious beliefs or other beliefs political or otherwise what so ever, this fact it is not mentioned often enough about recovery being a spiritual recovery program.
For me unconditional loving could only happen once I was able to love myself and trust myself, unconditional love is a giving of myself without any hidden motives on my part, you reach a point where you get pleasure from being so open and caring that being with a person gives you pleasure and there is no longer fear or mistrust in me or other people anymore.
For me unconditional giving came about when I was able to give more time and energy to myself by being caring gentle tolerant and patient with myself, in giving of myself and in being myself helps build healthy relationships.
For me forgiving was an important part of the healing process, forgiving was not for the perpetrator but for me to stop being and feeling the victim, wanting pity and letting fear inhibit me from living a full spiritual life and it is about healing my emotional scars and pains and moving on from our past painful experiences, once I was able to forgive there were no more resentments, no more vengeance, and the painful memory periods of my past would be replaced with sadness, I now understand that sadness indicates to me that my past emotional scars and pains had been healed and nurtured.
For me apologizing is a sign of maturity and strength in being accountable to myself and accountable to other people and acknowledging the consequences of my own unhealthy actions, apologizing is also bridge building exercise over damaged relationships, it also indicates that I care about the relationship I have with myself and with the relationship I have with all other people.
For me caring was an indicator of how much I valued and cared and respected myself, only then could I care about all other people
For me trusting was very much tied to the healing of the pains of my past emotional scars and pains and trauma with an understanding that the consequence of emotional pain is fear which originated from painful traumatic experiences in my childhood, once I overcame unhealthy childhood programming and the those fears of my past I would be able to be more trusting, yet I needed to learn to trust myself first of all.
For me being trustworthy was first of all the valuing myself and respecting myself so that I could respect other people and want the very best relationship I could have with all people.
Patience and tolerance were not very familiar to me and deep down knew those feelings were healthy, I understood that over time being on an adrenaline rush and taking risks was not healthy I needed to slow down my pace and my life to have more balance and taking things more slowly to appreciate and value people and life, this was and is a gradual learning process, it was also linked with being kind and gentle with myself and no longer wanting instant gratification, but working hard and appreciating the most precious things in my life today healthy relationships.
Humility and humbling myself was not a belittling exercise in fact the opposite, I was going to make myself feel equal to all people which for me was a raise in status from feeling like less than dog crap most of my life.
Sincerity linked with honesty, sincerity is being caring from the heart and meaning it, in being sincere is also being able to articulate your true healthy spiritual feelings towards yourself and other people.
Honesty was so many things to so many people, honesty by our spoken word, honesty by being able to be our self, and then there is unconditional honesty, which in a caring way means we can be honest without being cruel and hurting other people's feelings, we learn a way of being nurturing and encouraging without causing offense or embarrassment.
Honesty is the best policy, every healthy spiritual relationship is based upon honesty, and if we can't be honest with our self we cannot be honest with other people.
Faithful is about caring and being sincere and being very loyal, faithful is also related to our own security and understanding how painful it can be to be betrayed and let down, and being faithful and respectful is a very healthy spiritual connection with other people built on trust.
Being optimistic is very much tied to letting go of the past, healing the pains of the past, and also part of the forgiving process and tied up with spiritual goal setting.
Being optimistic is linked with building up, self confidence, our self esteem by setting up goals achieving and progressing by our own actions and giving ourselves approval recognition and pride in our actions.
For me self balanced is about moving from our obsessive addictive behaviors and having balance in our life, by understanding my wants and needs, eight hours of need time, 8 hours of want time and recreation time, also social and interaction time, and then 8 hours of rest and peacetime.
For me being courteous respectful and considerate is a reflection of how much I care and respect myself, it is also a message that I trust other people and value the relationship I have with them.
Being grateful is a reflection of how much I value myself and value other people and that I value people more than material things and money.
From me being content is understanding and accepting the wisdom of serenity and being at peace with myself, once my childhood trauma was put to rest and healed. To understand the only person I can control and regulate is myself only.
Being productive is about being motivated in a healthy way and no longer doing things for unhealthy reasons, not doing things resentfully, to not do things out of guilt, to not do things out of shame, to not do things out of duty, if I do things for the wrong reasons or unhealthy reasons I cheat myself of any pride or self esteem.
In creative thinking I am in touch with the imagination of my inner child and able to see all the possibilities of my actions and the consequences of my actions, to see and feel I am more than the limitations that I used to feel about myself and I am much more than the unhealthy programming that happened to me.
Being constructive is about building and making things better, which is the opposite of the unhealthy way I used to be and feel before I entered the spiritual healing recovery program.
Nurturing and encouraging were skills I would learn in the spiritual recovery program and from my family and more so from my unconditional loving and nurturing wife.
Sharing was very much based upon fear and trust issues, it was beyond money and material things, sharing was about overcoming my fears and trusting other people with my raw feelings and emotions, this took a long period of time.
By attending the healthy meetings and mixing with healthy goal setting people with such honesty and open minded thinking, the strength of the meeting being people's honesty, I recognized that I was equal to all people and wanted the same goals of being spiritually healthy once more as I was spiritually healthy the day I was born.
We just know deep down that healthy spiritual honesty is the idea that we are all working for the same goals at different rates of progress, that healthy progress was much more important than perfection that I needed to be grateful with every progress action I made no matter how small.
That in a way as we progress we work as a cooperative of people with the same clear healthy focus and the same healthy spiritual goals.
For me being aware was not about living on your nerves or on the edge of my fears, it was about being alert and conscious of everything and everyone surrounding me.
Being content was being serene and being happy with whom I was and what I was today, it also meant I understood that money and material things would not resolve my internal emotional issues.
Being stable within myself helped me overcome the emotional roller coaster rides I used to go through when I was very unhealthy, I felt in those days I did not have a choice to react in unhealthy ways, been stable was also about not reacting in an unhealthy way to everybody who was unhealthy around me.
For me being open minded was the ability to listen to all people's opinions views beliefs and even to unhealthy inept inadequate insecure people without me taking it personal if people did not agree with my beliefs. Being open minded was the ability to listen without reacting in an unhealthy way
Confidence faith and belief in ourselves came about by us doing our own healthy spiritual actions with healthy consequences, once we are willing to help our self succeed and progress and to value our self.
For me calmness came about when I was at peace within myself and was not fighting myself anymore to have focus direction and purpose and was self enlightened and aware the life I used to live was very unhealthy as a result of my unhealthy actions there were unhealthy consequences which caused pain to myself other people and adversely affected people around me.
Love and peace to everyone.
Dave of Beckenham
For me unconditional loving could only happen once I was able to love myself and trust myself, unconditional love is a giving of myself without any hidden motives on my part, you reach a point where you get pleasure from being so open and caring that being with a person gives you pleasure and there is no longer fear or mistrust in me or other people anymore.
For me unconditional giving came about when I was able to give more time and energy to myself by being caring gentle tolerant and patient with myself, in giving of myself and in being myself helps build healthy relationships.
For me forgiving was an important part of the healing process, forgiving was not for the perpetrator but for me to stop being and feeling the victim, wanting pity and letting fear inhibit me from living a full spiritual life and it is about healing my emotional scars and pains and moving on from our past painful experiences, once I was able to forgive there were no more resentments, no more vengeance, and the painful memory periods of my past would be replaced with sadness, I now understand that sadness indicates to me that my past emotional scars and pains had been healed and nurtured.
For me apologizing is a sign of maturity and strength in being accountable to myself and accountable to other people and acknowledging the consequences of my own unhealthy actions, apologizing is also bridge building exercise over damaged relationships, it also indicates that I care about the relationship I have with myself and with the relationship I have with all other people.
For me caring was an indicator of how much I valued and cared and respected myself, only then could I care about all other people
For me trusting was very much tied to the healing of the pains of my past emotional scars and pains and trauma with an understanding that the consequence of emotional pain is fear which originated from painful traumatic experiences in my childhood, once I overcame unhealthy childhood programming and the those fears of my past I would be able to be more trusting, yet I needed to learn to trust myself first of all.
For me being trustworthy was first of all the valuing myself and respecting myself so that I could respect other people and want the very best relationship I could have with all people.
Patience and tolerance were not very familiar to me and deep down knew those feelings were healthy, I understood that over time being on an adrenaline rush and taking risks was not healthy I needed to slow down my pace and my life to have more balance and taking things more slowly to appreciate and value people and life, this was and is a gradual learning process, it was also linked with being kind and gentle with myself and no longer wanting instant gratification, but working hard and appreciating the most precious things in my life today healthy relationships.
Humility and humbling myself was not a belittling exercise in fact the opposite, I was going to make myself feel equal to all people which for me was a raise in status from feeling like less than dog crap most of my life.
Sincerity linked with honesty, sincerity is being caring from the heart and meaning it, in being sincere is also being able to articulate your true healthy spiritual feelings towards yourself and other people.
Honesty was so many things to so many people, honesty by our spoken word, honesty by being able to be our self, and then there is unconditional honesty, which in a caring way means we can be honest without being cruel and hurting other people's feelings, we learn a way of being nurturing and encouraging without causing offense or embarrassment.
Honesty is the best policy, every healthy spiritual relationship is based upon honesty, and if we can't be honest with our self we cannot be honest with other people.
Faithful is about caring and being sincere and being very loyal, faithful is also related to our own security and understanding how painful it can be to be betrayed and let down, and being faithful and respectful is a very healthy spiritual connection with other people built on trust.
Being optimistic is very much tied to letting go of the past, healing the pains of the past, and also part of the forgiving process and tied up with spiritual goal setting.
Being optimistic is linked with building up, self confidence, our self esteem by setting up goals achieving and progressing by our own actions and giving ourselves approval recognition and pride in our actions.
For me self balanced is about moving from our obsessive addictive behaviors and having balance in our life, by understanding my wants and needs, eight hours of need time, 8 hours of want time and recreation time, also social and interaction time, and then 8 hours of rest and peacetime.
For me being courteous respectful and considerate is a reflection of how much I care and respect myself, it is also a message that I trust other people and value the relationship I have with them.
Being grateful is a reflection of how much I value myself and value other people and that I value people more than material things and money.
From me being content is understanding and accepting the wisdom of serenity and being at peace with myself, once my childhood trauma was put to rest and healed. To understand the only person I can control and regulate is myself only.
Being productive is about being motivated in a healthy way and no longer doing things for unhealthy reasons, not doing things resentfully, to not do things out of guilt, to not do things out of shame, to not do things out of duty, if I do things for the wrong reasons or unhealthy reasons I cheat myself of any pride or self esteem.
In creative thinking I am in touch with the imagination of my inner child and able to see all the possibilities of my actions and the consequences of my actions, to see and feel I am more than the limitations that I used to feel about myself and I am much more than the unhealthy programming that happened to me.
Being constructive is about building and making things better, which is the opposite of the unhealthy way I used to be and feel before I entered the spiritual healing recovery program.
Nurturing and encouraging were skills I would learn in the spiritual recovery program and from my family and more so from my unconditional loving and nurturing wife.
Sharing was very much based upon fear and trust issues, it was beyond money and material things, sharing was about overcoming my fears and trusting other people with my raw feelings and emotions, this took a long period of time.
By attending the healthy meetings and mixing with healthy goal setting people with such honesty and open minded thinking, the strength of the meeting being people's honesty, I recognized that I was equal to all people and wanted the same goals of being spiritually healthy once more as I was spiritually healthy the day I was born.
We just know deep down that healthy spiritual honesty is the idea that we are all working for the same goals at different rates of progress, that healthy progress was much more important than perfection that I needed to be grateful with every progress action I made no matter how small.
That in a way as we progress we work as a cooperative of people with the same clear healthy focus and the same healthy spiritual goals.
For me being aware was not about living on your nerves or on the edge of my fears, it was about being alert and conscious of everything and everyone surrounding me.
Being content was being serene and being happy with whom I was and what I was today, it also meant I understood that money and material things would not resolve my internal emotional issues.
Being stable within myself helped me overcome the emotional roller coaster rides I used to go through when I was very unhealthy, I felt in those days I did not have a choice to react in unhealthy ways, been stable was also about not reacting in an unhealthy way to everybody who was unhealthy around me.
For me being open minded was the ability to listen to all people's opinions views beliefs and even to unhealthy inept inadequate insecure people without me taking it personal if people did not agree with my beliefs. Being open minded was the ability to listen without reacting in an unhealthy way
Confidence faith and belief in ourselves came about by us doing our own healthy spiritual actions with healthy consequences, once we are willing to help our self succeed and progress and to value our self.
For me calmness came about when I was at peace within myself and was not fighting myself anymore to have focus direction and purpose and was self enlightened and aware the life I used to live was very unhealthy as a result of my unhealthy actions there were unhealthy consequences which caused pain to myself other people and adversely affected people around me.
Love and peace to everyone.
Dave of Beckenham