18-08-2011, 01:25 AM
Hello everyone.
My name is Richard, i'm 32 and have a gambling problem that goes way back to when I was 8 years old. My addiction started on fruit machines, but what has really done the damage to my life has been roulette, specifically in bookmakers. I am single and most of my friends are gamblers of some description, something which I have tried to address, but failed. I've long known I have a serious problem and it is ruining my life, but only now do I see that I need to do something about it. In the past I have used both alcohol and drugs habitually but managed to give them both up, but gambling is proving much tougher. There have been periods where I haven't gambled but only due to lack of funds, if I have money I normally lose it playing roulette in the bookies. Sometimes I gamble because I want more money, but in all honesty half the time I don't care if I lose. I feel as though its inevitable that I will lose my money, but do it anyway, out of boredom. I have a low income job, and I am liable to spend every penny of my wages gambling as soon as I can access the money, leaving me having to borrow in order to be able to get to work for the rest of the week. If I win it just means I can have a bigger session the following day. I feel as though I am an embarrassment to my family, and have no control whatsoever. Because of my addiction I have absolutely no ambition, I don't see the point striving for a better job when the money is going to end up in the bottom of a roulette terminal. I am looking into local meetings and intend to go to one.
For each of the 20 questions my answer would be a resounding 'yes', in some cases I could write an essay for an answer, and some of the lies/excuses i've made to cover up my gambling are truly awful. If it wasn't for my mother, and other family members, i'd be in the gutter, or dead. Only today I got paid and went out for the evening with the intention of meeting friends from work, but ended up spending/squandering my entire wages in the bookies beforehand. I then walked home, which took an hour and a half. I can't unburden myself to my family, my mother is a good listener but doesn't truly understand, so i've registered on here in the hope I can find help and strength through others.
For openers this is just a basic post, over time hopefully I can share some of the episodes I am too ashamed and embarrassed to share right now. All I know is that my addiction is preventing me from leading a normal life.
My name is Richard, i'm 32 and have a gambling problem that goes way back to when I was 8 years old. My addiction started on fruit machines, but what has really done the damage to my life has been roulette, specifically in bookmakers. I am single and most of my friends are gamblers of some description, something which I have tried to address, but failed. I've long known I have a serious problem and it is ruining my life, but only now do I see that I need to do something about it. In the past I have used both alcohol and drugs habitually but managed to give them both up, but gambling is proving much tougher. There have been periods where I haven't gambled but only due to lack of funds, if I have money I normally lose it playing roulette in the bookies. Sometimes I gamble because I want more money, but in all honesty half the time I don't care if I lose. I feel as though its inevitable that I will lose my money, but do it anyway, out of boredom. I have a low income job, and I am liable to spend every penny of my wages gambling as soon as I can access the money, leaving me having to borrow in order to be able to get to work for the rest of the week. If I win it just means I can have a bigger session the following day. I feel as though I am an embarrassment to my family, and have no control whatsoever. Because of my addiction I have absolutely no ambition, I don't see the point striving for a better job when the money is going to end up in the bottom of a roulette terminal. I am looking into local meetings and intend to go to one.
For each of the 20 questions my answer would be a resounding 'yes', in some cases I could write an essay for an answer, and some of the lies/excuses i've made to cover up my gambling are truly awful. If it wasn't for my mother, and other family members, i'd be in the gutter, or dead. Only today I got paid and went out for the evening with the intention of meeting friends from work, but ended up spending/squandering my entire wages in the bookies beforehand. I then walked home, which took an hour and a half. I can't unburden myself to my family, my mother is a good listener but doesn't truly understand, so i've registered on here in the hope I can find help and strength through others.
For openers this is just a basic post, over time hopefully I can share some of the episodes I am too ashamed and embarrassed to share right now. All I know is that my addiction is preventing me from leading a normal life.