13-10-2011, 02:37 AM
Hi Barrie
Thanks for sharing your experiences of opening up and telling friends and family. I've only told three people, although I should probably count it as four as mum will no doubt have told dad. The people I've told directly are my mum, my brother and my boyfriend. However, telling my boyfriend was a big mistake as the relationship was not the easiest for either of us to start with due partly to a big age gap, partly due to the distances involved (I'm in greater Manchester and he is in Derbyshire) and partly because I'm always very over cautious in relationships due to past experiences where I have been hurt in the worst ways possible. Since I told my boyfriend we have only seen each other once and he has stopped taking my calls, replying to my texts and replying to my emails so although it hasn't actually been said I'm sure it is over.
However, I know that I need my parents and my brother to be aware of my situation as not only are we very close but they have always been my rocks in times of trouble and without them and all the support they have given me through things that have happened over the years I have no doubt I wouldn't even be here today. Although I don't expect them to ever understand or even totally accept that I am a CG, at least I know that if I'm struggling then I have the option to be able to say so, even if it does come to the stage where I need to hand over my finances, although I have so far been able to manage them very well and am working hard at getting my debts paid off while making sure all my bills are paid and that I don't have cash on me other than what I actually need for the day.
In terms of telling other people, such as friends or extended family, I'm not going to be doing that as I don't want to add to the rest of the families worries and I don't really have many friends, although the ones I do have are all online anyway abd so it's not like we socialize or anything.
I feel so much better since I have told mum though, even if I was q bit unsure if it was going to be awkward when I saw my parents today. It wasn't which in my mind means one of two things - either they are accepting it and are just relieved I've told them, or they are in denial about it. Either way though I know it's going to take time and only as I can make changes to my whole being as part of my recovery through working the steps will it be outwardly clear that changes are happening inside me.
Taking one day at a time
Kez
Thanks for sharing your experiences of opening up and telling friends and family. I've only told three people, although I should probably count it as four as mum will no doubt have told dad. The people I've told directly are my mum, my brother and my boyfriend. However, telling my boyfriend was a big mistake as the relationship was not the easiest for either of us to start with due partly to a big age gap, partly due to the distances involved (I'm in greater Manchester and he is in Derbyshire) and partly because I'm always very over cautious in relationships due to past experiences where I have been hurt in the worst ways possible. Since I told my boyfriend we have only seen each other once and he has stopped taking my calls, replying to my texts and replying to my emails so although it hasn't actually been said I'm sure it is over.
However, I know that I need my parents and my brother to be aware of my situation as not only are we very close but they have always been my rocks in times of trouble and without them and all the support they have given me through things that have happened over the years I have no doubt I wouldn't even be here today. Although I don't expect them to ever understand or even totally accept that I am a CG, at least I know that if I'm struggling then I have the option to be able to say so, even if it does come to the stage where I need to hand over my finances, although I have so far been able to manage them very well and am working hard at getting my debts paid off while making sure all my bills are paid and that I don't have cash on me other than what I actually need for the day.
In terms of telling other people, such as friends or extended family, I'm not going to be doing that as I don't want to add to the rest of the families worries and I don't really have many friends, although the ones I do have are all online anyway abd so it's not like we socialize or anything.
I feel so much better since I have told mum though, even if I was q bit unsure if it was going to be awkward when I saw my parents today. It wasn't which in my mind means one of two things - either they are accepting it and are just relieved I've told them, or they are in denial about it. Either way though I know it's going to take time and only as I can make changes to my whole being as part of my recovery through working the steps will it be outwardly clear that changes are happening inside me.
Taking one day at a time
Kez