15-10-2011, 08:50 PM
I've finally realised things have gone too far and I can't cope with my gambling addiction any longer.
I've gambled for years, mostly on the football and racing. I hold my own more often than not with them and it's something I can't see not being in my life. Both are massive interests in my day to day business.
It's these stupid, pointless instant win games that have killed me. I used to turn my nose up at them whenever I was in the bookies. Seen several of my friends have issues with them, serious one's at that.
The last nine months to a year have been such a rollercoaster with them though. At the start of the year I was losing around 50% of my wage on them in an hour or so. I bucked my ideas up and took some action, told my partner and she was as understanding as anyone would have been.
Since the initial blips around March - May time, I got over it. I dabbled in them from time to time but never ever at the level I was doing previously. Then last week I got into the online blackjack. Was up a fair bit for a few days and then on Wednesday it got the better of me. I lost it all and some of my savings.
Today, I got up with the best intentions and kept myself occupied. Then the urge got to me and I blew more of my savings and left myself up against it for the rest of the month.
It's getting more serious now because within the next few months I am hoping to have bought my first property with my partner.
My life is generally excellent. I have a loving family, a girlfriend who I adore and has stood by me with all this and I have a job I love doing which pays well.
I don't know why I gamble on these games, but I do know it needs to stop.
I'm sick and tired of disappointing myself and my partner.
I've gambled for years, mostly on the football and racing. I hold my own more often than not with them and it's something I can't see not being in my life. Both are massive interests in my day to day business.
It's these stupid, pointless instant win games that have killed me. I used to turn my nose up at them whenever I was in the bookies. Seen several of my friends have issues with them, serious one's at that.
The last nine months to a year have been such a rollercoaster with them though. At the start of the year I was losing around 50% of my wage on them in an hour or so. I bucked my ideas up and took some action, told my partner and she was as understanding as anyone would have been.
Since the initial blips around March - May time, I got over it. I dabbled in them from time to time but never ever at the level I was doing previously. Then last week I got into the online blackjack. Was up a fair bit for a few days and then on Wednesday it got the better of me. I lost it all and some of my savings.
Today, I got up with the best intentions and kept myself occupied. Then the urge got to me and I blew more of my savings and left myself up against it for the rest of the month.
It's getting more serious now because within the next few months I am hoping to have bought my first property with my partner.
My life is generally excellent. I have a loving family, a girlfriend who I adore and has stood by me with all this and I have a job I love doing which pays well.
I don't know why I gamble on these games, but I do know it needs to stop.
I'm sick and tired of disappointing myself and my partner.