29-11-2011, 10:17 PM
Thank you guys for being there for me.
Yes even at one time I questioned if I was eveil bad dumb stupid and felt so weak and vulnerable and could not articulate my emotions and feelings.
People will say that they have bad feelings.
I now understand that before recovery i did not have a choice and over time understand that I was an accident self destructive destuctive person looking for some where to happen.
Recovery has humbled me to to improve my self worth, humiliating people is not recovery is all about it is about encouraging and nurturing people to be helathy once more.
Once I saw myself as an equal to all people in recovery I understood that if they could do some thing in their recovery I could the same.
Once we make that conscious decision to move away from unhealthy habits we become responsible to our self.
The recovery program healps us help our self.
We can achieve that success with or with out any religious beliefs.
Sadly when I was young the religious people who were suppose to protect and nurture me were often teh people who hurt me the most.
That reaction I use to have to religion was my resentments towards those very unhealthy religious hypocrits.
Hence it is important in recovery that your words match your actions.
"Just for today" is about living in the moment.
To not live in the pain fears or frustrations of our past.
Yet to not live in fear (depression worry anxiety stress panic for em all fear based issues) of our tomorrows.
Sadly some people will not grasp that recovery is beyond abstaining.
Yet by us deomonstrtating healthy spiritual actions in doing step 12 that is another persons step two.
It is by us demonstrating spiritual values that peiople come to beleive that recovery will work for them.
How many people can honestly say that when they walke din to recovery they were spiritually healthy people and that they were very mature people.
When I became open minded because on arrival I felt very inept weak and insecure in myself I then was able identify my weaknesses and then was willing to help myself.
No matter how many times you read the books or listen to the sponsors once you act up on it it then becomes our own responsability.
Blame work boths ways that all other people were responsible for me being unhealthy, and then recovery kicks in and then you blame other people for your recovery.
Hence being accountable to our self is important part of our maturity.
Each day did I do or say some thing that was unhealthy to another person?
How can I improve myself and my realtionships with other people?
Each day did I do or say some thing that was healthy to any another person?
Will I give my self approval and validate myself as a healthy person today and allow myself to feel quietly proud about myself.
As each of us post and open up our self in healthy ways we gain strength confidence and ambition in our self.
There was a time when I feared living and fear dying.
That was a very unhealthy way to feel and stagnate.
I would not be who I am if it were not the very persons to admit to them self tat they were unhealthy and wanted more from their life.
AA NA etc etc are other programs yet once we get in to steps seriously and work on our therapies we understand we all want the same goals.
Once we abstain from one addiction there is often the drift to another addiction or obsession.
Often people will abstain from addiction and remain focused on money or often lack of money.
Steps are all about spiritual growth, and sadly spiritual growth is not explained in enough details.
We do we need to be honest, why are we afraid to be honest and open up.
Why do we need to be free of all fears in able to open up and grow?
With our fears do we honestly ask our self what is the very worst thing that can happen?
Are we willing to do the healthy actions and accept the very worst thing that can happen?
For me 95% of teh time the very worst thing never happen?
Yet I would live in fear.
For me fear stunted my spiritual growth and stopped me living my life to the full.
I was asked to do a workshop some years ago, needless to say I immediatley lost all anal retention.
Even to this day now I am nervous when chairing meetings.
Recently I have been asking people of meetings to give topics and then only take one topic at a time.
Some found it more comfortable and felt less stress.
I often ask people to pick soem thing of theri own choice and to question or to give their point of vew about it.
I encourage people to think and question every thing about recovery so there is no misunderstanding about the recovery program.
Sadly soem people might think or feel they question their authority,
I understand that today no matter how many times I read or how many meetings I have attended there is still lots I do not know or understand, yet I will admit my ignorance.
I use to parrot recovery I now understand words with out actions was not healthy for me.
Thank you for your sharing.
If you want to contact me in person please do so.
Love and peace to everyone
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
Yes even at one time I questioned if I was eveil bad dumb stupid and felt so weak and vulnerable and could not articulate my emotions and feelings.
People will say that they have bad feelings.
I now understand that before recovery i did not have a choice and over time understand that I was an accident self destructive destuctive person looking for some where to happen.
Recovery has humbled me to to improve my self worth, humiliating people is not recovery is all about it is about encouraging and nurturing people to be helathy once more.
Once I saw myself as an equal to all people in recovery I understood that if they could do some thing in their recovery I could the same.
Once we make that conscious decision to move away from unhealthy habits we become responsible to our self.
The recovery program healps us help our self.
We can achieve that success with or with out any religious beliefs.
Sadly when I was young the religious people who were suppose to protect and nurture me were often teh people who hurt me the most.
That reaction I use to have to religion was my resentments towards those very unhealthy religious hypocrits.
Hence it is important in recovery that your words match your actions.
"Just for today" is about living in the moment.
To not live in the pain fears or frustrations of our past.
Yet to not live in fear (depression worry anxiety stress panic for em all fear based issues) of our tomorrows.
Sadly some people will not grasp that recovery is beyond abstaining.
Yet by us deomonstrtating healthy spiritual actions in doing step 12 that is another persons step two.
It is by us demonstrating spiritual values that peiople come to beleive that recovery will work for them.
How many people can honestly say that when they walke din to recovery they were spiritually healthy people and that they were very mature people.
When I became open minded because on arrival I felt very inept weak and insecure in myself I then was able identify my weaknesses and then was willing to help myself.
No matter how many times you read the books or listen to the sponsors once you act up on it it then becomes our own responsability.
Blame work boths ways that all other people were responsible for me being unhealthy, and then recovery kicks in and then you blame other people for your recovery.
Hence being accountable to our self is important part of our maturity.
Each day did I do or say some thing that was unhealthy to another person?
How can I improve myself and my realtionships with other people?
Each day did I do or say some thing that was healthy to any another person?
Will I give my self approval and validate myself as a healthy person today and allow myself to feel quietly proud about myself.
As each of us post and open up our self in healthy ways we gain strength confidence and ambition in our self.
There was a time when I feared living and fear dying.
That was a very unhealthy way to feel and stagnate.
I would not be who I am if it were not the very persons to admit to them self tat they were unhealthy and wanted more from their life.
AA NA etc etc are other programs yet once we get in to steps seriously and work on our therapies we understand we all want the same goals.
Once we abstain from one addiction there is often the drift to another addiction or obsession.
Often people will abstain from addiction and remain focused on money or often lack of money.
Steps are all about spiritual growth, and sadly spiritual growth is not explained in enough details.
We do we need to be honest, why are we afraid to be honest and open up.
Why do we need to be free of all fears in able to open up and grow?
With our fears do we honestly ask our self what is the very worst thing that can happen?
Are we willing to do the healthy actions and accept the very worst thing that can happen?
For me 95% of teh time the very worst thing never happen?
Yet I would live in fear.
For me fear stunted my spiritual growth and stopped me living my life to the full.
I was asked to do a workshop some years ago, needless to say I immediatley lost all anal retention.
Even to this day now I am nervous when chairing meetings.
Recently I have been asking people of meetings to give topics and then only take one topic at a time.
Some found it more comfortable and felt less stress.
I often ask people to pick soem thing of theri own choice and to question or to give their point of vew about it.
I encourage people to think and question every thing about recovery so there is no misunderstanding about the recovery program.
Sadly soem people might think or feel they question their authority,
I understand that today no matter how many times I read or how many meetings I have attended there is still lots I do not know or understand, yet I will admit my ignorance.
I use to parrot recovery I now understand words with out actions was not healthy for me.
Thank you for your sharing.
If you want to contact me in person please do so.
Love and peace to everyone
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham