07-01-2012, 06:22 PM
Hello all.
Please take this post in the manner in which it is intended.
I do not judge you, condemn you or intend to berate you.
I do not wish to forgive you, absolve you or take responsibility for your life.
I only want you to look through my eyes and see what I see.
I only want for you for 1 minute to feel how I feel.
I only want you to know you are not the only one who is lost.
The day I found out, the day I knew, the day my world fell apart, this day will live with me forever.
You were afraid of the truth. Desperation etched on your face.
You were consumed by your own misery, yet you thought this was new. For me I had been watching this for weeks, months years, unsure of what or who was the cause.
You started by telling me the facts, and while still reeling from this out poured the excuses. Low self esteem, no confidence, living a lie, not your fault, I should have known, why had I let you control the finances, why had I not stopped you?
You said you would understand if I left then begged me not to go.
You told me you understood that I felt betrayed but told me nothing had changed.
You said you loved me but knew this would tear us apart.
You said you understood my tears but didn't want to see me cry.
YOU, YOU, YOU!
While you told me everything about you, I was forgotten. Your bitterness and self loathing all encompassed you and you left me floundering.
This day was the very worst of my life.
I lost the one person I thought I could depend on.
I lost the absolute knowledge that you loved me.
I was left with broken promises and an uncertain future.
We are many months down the road. And you are gamble free. Your life is getting better, and you feel better than you ever have before.
I am pleased for you.
You are rightfully proud of your achievements.
You have your life back. And you say with my help you will only get stronger in your belief that you will not gamble again.
Just for today you will not gamble.
Today and everyday I relive the day my world fell apart.
Today and everyday I wait for you to see this hurt me too.
Please do not be offended, this was never my intent.
Good luck to all those who fight for a gamble free life
My thoughts are with those who support selflessly the gambler, recovering or not.
We are often forgotten.
Even when we are spoken about its often only to say how hard it was to tell us, how difficult it is to make things up to us.
I wish for all of us happiness.
Please take this post in the manner in which it is intended.
I do not judge you, condemn you or intend to berate you.
I do not wish to forgive you, absolve you or take responsibility for your life.
I only want you to look through my eyes and see what I see.
I only want for you for 1 minute to feel how I feel.
I only want you to know you are not the only one who is lost.
The day I found out, the day I knew, the day my world fell apart, this day will live with me forever.
You were afraid of the truth. Desperation etched on your face.
You were consumed by your own misery, yet you thought this was new. For me I had been watching this for weeks, months years, unsure of what or who was the cause.
You started by telling me the facts, and while still reeling from this out poured the excuses. Low self esteem, no confidence, living a lie, not your fault, I should have known, why had I let you control the finances, why had I not stopped you?
You said you would understand if I left then begged me not to go.
You told me you understood that I felt betrayed but told me nothing had changed.
You said you loved me but knew this would tear us apart.
You said you understood my tears but didn't want to see me cry.
YOU, YOU, YOU!
While you told me everything about you, I was forgotten. Your bitterness and self loathing all encompassed you and you left me floundering.
This day was the very worst of my life.
I lost the one person I thought I could depend on.
I lost the absolute knowledge that you loved me.
I was left with broken promises and an uncertain future.
We are many months down the road. And you are gamble free. Your life is getting better, and you feel better than you ever have before.
I am pleased for you.
You are rightfully proud of your achievements.
You have your life back. And you say with my help you will only get stronger in your belief that you will not gamble again.
Just for today you will not gamble.
Today and everyday I relive the day my world fell apart.
Today and everyday I wait for you to see this hurt me too.
Please do not be offended, this was never my intent.
Good luck to all those who fight for a gamble free life
My thoughts are with those who support selflessly the gambler, recovering or not.
We are often forgotten.
Even when we are spoken about its often only to say how hard it was to tell us, how difficult it is to make things up to us.
I wish for all of us happiness.