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Don't think I want to stop?
#11
posted by crilly81...

6 months of no gambling come the 9th feb but boydo I still struggle. I heard that someone rrelatively young died the other day which made me think what if that happened to me and would I rget stopping gambling and I honestly don't know? Some days I do and some I dont...
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#12
posted by crilly81...

It's been 6 months since I stopped attending GA meetings. At first I told myself and my wife that I would only put a small footy coupon on every Saturday and maybe go to the casino once a month maximum. Well that didn't last long and I've since asked my elderly grandmother to bail me out as I had lost my monthly money. I then got a small win yesterday on the footy but got drunk and blew the lot in ten minutes playing online roulette. That's the thing with being a compulsive gambler -you simply never win.

The question that shoots out in this post is do you really want to stop gambling? Many people say they do, but when it comes to doing the right things and actions, they don't follow through.

Are you thinking about going back to GA meetings? If yes, great...have you got a plan about when?.....if not, what's the plan instead?

Smartie xx
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#13
Hi smartie. I just want to be able to bet like my mates do, in the sense that it's a bit of fun at the weekend. That's the ideal scenario if I'm being truthful. I think if I have another big loss then I'd have no option to go back to the meetings as I know they work. But I think you're right that I'm not there yet or at least I haven't put myself through enough pain yet...
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#14
Invariably whenever I have started on football coupons again I always and I MEAN always end up back on roulette...I know it ends up on roulette but yet I go back time and time again...thinking £XX or £XX here or there won't matter but it never ends up being that small an amount.

Just don't do it....if you get through this urge clean (which is better than I) then you'll be the more stronger for it!
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#15
(21-08-2016, 12:02 PM)Crilly81 Wrote: Hi smartie. I just want to be able to bet like my mates do, in the sense that it's a bit of fun at the weekend. That's the ideal scenario if I'm being truthful. I think if I have another big loss then I'd have no option to go back to the meetings as I know they work. But I think you're right that I'm not there yet or at least I haven't put myself through enough pain yet...

I know its easy to dispense advice but very very hard to accept it and take it in but...

your ideal scenario is like mine, one that plays over and over in my mind and recovery and every time I have tried I have failed and if you admit it to yourself you will ultimately fail as well.

As mentioned on my previous post please go back to meetings and get through the urge, you will feel rubbish but you will feel alot worse if you gamble because you will not just keep to football coupons.

I wish I could remember that!
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#16
(21-08-2016, 12:02 PM)Crilly81 Wrote: Hi smartie. I just want to be able to bet like my mates do, in the sense that it's a bit of fun at the weekend. That's the ideal scenario if I'm being truthful. I think if I have another big loss then I'd have no option to go back to the meetings as I know they work. But I think you're right that I'm not there yet or at least I haven't put myself through enough pain yet...

Crilly,
When you say" I just want to bet like my mates do"  we all know and possibly some of your friends may be feeling, gambling is not always fun!! We all have to start somewhere, I've heard loads of therapies and even in my own you hear" I had a normal childhood our family holidays were all seaside based and very happy playing in the Arcades". If we knew then what we know now would we have said we were having Fun!!
For me it seems I know it's going to sound harsh but you need to distance yourself from people who are gambling especially on a weekend to give your self a chance to stop.
Take care and speak soon.
Mick.
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#17
Hello again.
Thank you for your replies. I got paid yesterday and went out after work. I firstly lost at the bobookies on roulette and then had a few pints before going to the casino and losing there. I ended up wasting 70% of my monthly allowance in one night as I had my bank card on me. I kept thinking 'I'll win it back with the next spin' but that didn't happen.
I've spent a sleepless night thinking about what I'd done and I have palpitations writing this. Will you are spot on in what you are saying in the sense that it always goes back to roulette. I started off saying I will just put a small coupon on but they got bigger and more frequent and my trips to the casino increased too. It doesn't matter how much I win, I just spend it on gambling again. 
My wife remarked to me the other day that no matter how much allowance I get each month I always spend every last penny of it. She doesn't realise that 80 percent goes on gambling. Im concerned about telling her that ive got back into these habits after pleading with her that I could stay in control. I guess she will have to find out if I go back to gamblers anonymous but the fortunate thing is that I haven't used any credit cards or money from the house. It has just been from my allowance. I'm going speak to my dad about this later today and go through the embarrassment of asking to borrow money to see me through to the end of the month so that will be shameful.
I am a compulsive gambler and I need to remember that and not get complacent again. I know it will be so hard but I've got to try.
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#18
Is like looking in the mirror when reading these posts. I envy the length of time you guys have abstained from the bet, it gives me inspiration, Goodluck with you journey stay strong ??
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#19
That's the thing with GA there are so many people and stories you can relate to. Need to get back to GA but to do so will mean I have to confess again to my wife that my gambling is out of control which is the main worry. However without GA I know I will be gambling again within a week so it's a tough one. Gambling is such a manipulating illness as my brain is already saying keep gambling, you'll get a coupon win...
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#20
Yes crilly, thats why step one is so difficult for many....accepting that we are powerless over gambling and that our lives were unmanageable....

including me
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