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My name is Simmo
#6
The way payday makes me feel has changed over the last 8 months. Whilst gambling, I used to justify gambling more by the amount of overtime I was doing, I would always have gambled more than I earned, so once payday arrived, I was always chasing money to cover bills etc. I constantly lived in debt, moving money around from one card to another to keep on top of payments. In march on my last day of gambling, it was payday, and I got my bonus.... now rather than being happy that we could put some money away to go on holiday for instance, I managed to clear my overdraft!

Now, payday is a pat on the back for another gambling free month, and also a time to set the budget for the next month. It's a time when I see progress with debt payments and that debt cloud that I'm in slowly lifting, too slowly for my old way of thinking but now I just accept it for what it is, it will take a long time to clear.

My wife and I use YNAB (youneedabudget) and it's really transformed our way of life around money. Because I can no longer borrow money, we have to make sure that yearly expenses are budgeted for and a little put aside each month. By having a budget it also guides our spending decisions, and if we can't afford it, we don't spend it. This along with not gambling is making life seriously more manageable. I have a debt management plan running with StepChange and my expenses are no longer more than my income. I don't spend money I don't have, I do not understand how I managed to gamble so much money in the past, I don't like spending even a tenner now, but I used to chuck thousands into machines without thought.

I am proud to be a recovering compulsive gambler, it enables me access to the 12 step program that assists me to become a better person all round, morally mature, and most importantly honest. I'm certainly no saint, and every day I will do something that would be considered selfish, or morally wrong, but having the tools to be able to acknowledge, understand, and change my attitude and behaviour means that every day I grow. My mind is open to suggestion, I'm no longer a know it all, must control everything kind of person. I care, I'm starting to feel emotions that I've had locked away for all of my adult life.

I believe that every person would benefit from working the 12 step program, even those who are not addicts of any kind. It's only step 1 that mentions the addiction, the other 11 steps are around growing one's self and living an honest, serene live.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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Messages In This Thread
My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 08-11-2016, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 08-11-2016, 01:21 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-11-2016, 02:28 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-11-2016, 12:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-11-2016, 08:37 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-11-2016, 01:50 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 17-11-2016, 03:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 21-11-2016, 03:19 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-12-2016, 09:47 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-01-2017, 10:54 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-01-2017, 05:02 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-02-2017, 10:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-03-2017, 11:05 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 07-04-2017, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 06-05-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-06-2017, 12:33 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-06-2017, 05:35 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 01-07-2017, 02:51 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 01:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 10:10 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 05-07-2017, 03:48 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-07-2017, 04:00 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 17-07-2017, 05:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-08-2017, 03:12 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 02-08-2017, 01:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-08-2017, 11:02 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-09-2017, 10:06 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-11-2017, 02:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 30-11-2017, 12:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-01-2018, 03:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 18-01-2018, 10:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 20-02-2018, 07:26 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-03-2018, 02:11 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 22-03-2018, 08:58 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 10-04-2018, 12:55 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 10-04-2018, 03:46 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 16-04-2018, 11:28 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 25-04-2018, 10:44 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 18-05-2018, 02:07 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-05-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:47 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:17 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 01-06-2018, 01:44 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 11-06-2018, 02:41 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 14-06-2018, 11:55 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 29-06-2018, 09:41 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Chris_b - 30-06-2018, 03:04 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 09:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 24-07-2018, 02:15 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 24-07-2018, 06:24 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-08-2018, 02:56 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 03-09-2018, 10:14 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 13-09-2018, 10:26 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 13-09-2018, 04:31 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 13-09-2018, 09:27 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 26-10-2018, 08:45 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 08-12-2018, 02:16 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:27 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by shoebox - 15-01-2019, 04:11 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-04-2019, 03:38 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:42 AM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 19-07-2019, 02:45 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 23-07-2019, 04:59 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by LewB - 23-07-2019, 08:14 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by smartie - 27-07-2019, 01:06 PM
RE: Simmo's Journal - by Simmo - 30-07-2019, 01:17 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 03-09-2019, 12:45 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 26-09-2019, 11:28 AM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 20-12-2019, 04:19 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by LewB - 20-12-2019, 05:21 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 21-12-2019, 02:52 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by smartie - 23-12-2019, 12:24 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 31-12-2019, 11:04 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by Simmo - 16-01-2020, 02:07 PM
RE: My name is Simmo - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:33 PM

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