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My name is Simmo
#71
So a week has passed already since my last post. What's changed?

Daily Prayer and Meditation - Started again
Exercise - started again
Meetings - Still going
Step 8 - Halted - started thinking about it
Calling my sponsor - Calling today. I have been putting this one off, why, shame really, as I let the communication tail off. Writing this down here means I am I much more likely to do it. I'm doing it now actually. As soon as I hit "Post reply"

A lot can happen in a day, especially when present and focused on what's important.

Just for today I will not gamble.

Simmo

Once I put things into action, it's amazing how easy some things can change.

I've now called my sponsor, who I've not spoken to for a good few months, and we've got plans to meet up for golf and get back onto working through steps 8 and 9.

Trauma was most certainly the hardest part to process, but in doing so, it's starting to release my emotions to allow flexibility to work through the rest of the 'normal' life stuff.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#72
One of many things that I cannot control are other people, their thoughts or their actions. For years I was blindly chucking my way through life, quite often as my mother would describe, "like a bull in a china shop!". Little did I know at the time, whilst firmly in the grips of addiction, I was the bull and the relationships that mean anything to me were the 'china shop'. Working through the steps in my 4th year of recovery, the damage I have done to relationships is becoming clear. I am grateful that these special people are still around, as the chaos and carnage that my behaviour has caused over the years is significant. It's not easy taking inventory of ones self, especially when it's an honest and thorough look into what I had become. I'm in the process of denying the validity of the old saying "a leopard cannot change its spots", I will continue to do my bit in all situations and integrate the 12 steps into my day to day life, for it is these simple suggestions of recovery that have helped me bring about significant changes to my persona. I care about people, lots of people, and I am genuinely pleased to see other people recover.

Since my last post, I've re-engaged with my sponsor, started again with daily prayer and meditation, journal writing, gratitude lists. All of which take about 30 minutes all in all, and their impact on my daily life is massive.

I've recently celebrated one year of no smoking, which I'm still amazed with myself, as the last 12 months have been some of the worst of my life, but they did not include smoking or gambling.

Just for today I will not gamble, One Day At A Time.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#73
In early recovery, my ego was still big, covering up the insecurites of low self esteem and lacking confidence. I wanted to change the program, to make it more modern etc etc. The reality was that I was yet to integrate the GA program into my life, and even after more than 3 years in recovery I have only just read the "towards the first 90 days" booklet. That booklet has really helped me to see things differently, and now I put the program into action, the benefits are hude by working the program just as it is.

The more I work the program, the less I believe it needs to change, and I start the realise that I was just wanting to change everything to meet my own desires. I'm not that special. Deflating my ego has been a very comforting experience. I am me, I am confortable and confident that I know who I am and what I stand for.

Just for today I will not gamble, One day at a time.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
Reply
#74
Christmas time can be a hard time for some, and I am finding it tough again this year. Depression is affecting me severely and there is a significant lack of feelings. I'm in the process of just getting by each day, continuing to have a strong resolve to not gamble. I do this by going to my weekly GA meeting, no matter how I feel, the importance of the meeting is greater to me than anything else. History has tought me the hard way, exactly what happens if I stop going to meetings.

Wishing eveyone a gamble free Christmas, and please do not suffer in slience. If you need help, please reach out for help.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#75
Hey Simmo Considering how you are currently feeling, maybe its time for more than one meeting per week, at least for the time being or until your thoughts calm down a bit. Certainly can't hurt, can it? Wishing you and your family a joyous Christmas season as well as a healthy and happy New Year. In unity, Lew B.-Woodbury Monday
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#76
(20-12-2019, 05:21 PM)LewB Wrote: Hey Simmo Considering how you are currently feeling, maybe its time for more than one meeting per week, at least for the time being or until your thoughts calm down a bit. Certainly can't hurt, can it? Wishing you and your family a joyous Christmas season as well as a healthy and happy New Year. In unity, Lew B.-Woodbury Monday

Hi Lew B,

It's not a bad idea at all, I will add another meeting in, ultimately I've got to sort out my marriage, as that's a big part of my low mood.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#77
Hey Simmo....

Best wishes to you as always....

Reaching out and offering that hand of fellowship....

jft in unity Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#78
Leaving behind 2019, which has probably been the toughest year of my life. PTSD, Anxiety and Depression affecting me in various directions with varying intensity. From hospitalisation to running a marathon, learning to know myslef, and learning to forgive. I am moving forward with my life, hoping that 2020 is going to be a better year. Just for today I will not gamble, one day at a time.

Wishing each and every one of a Happy New Year.

In Unity
Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
Reply
#79
Just over 2 weeks into 2020 and things are on track. I've been following the simple suggestions of recovery, for both addiction and depression. I've been running 5 days a week and already starting to feel fitter. I'm a little bit annoyed with myself for letting myself get so out of shape, but I'm not spending too long looking back. I won't forget where I've come from, but I also won't concentrate on it too much, as that's not where I want to be heading.

I will continue to progress in recovery, one day at a time. If you are struggling, please please get to a meeting. Meetings are what keep me safe from gambling. Each week I go, no matter what, not for myslef as much anymore, but to help others, and in doing so helping myself.

The fellowship has literally saved my life. I am committed to GA for life, as addiction doesn't just go away, there is no cure, but by following a few suggestions for recovery in my life I can stay off a bet, and learn to be happy in this new life.

Just for today I will not gamble

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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