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New here here's our story
#1
Thanks to anyone taking the tome to read this. My husband is a gambler. It started like most a few accas and horses but it's increasingly got worse. He has a good job and makes a nice wage a couple of weeks ago actually about a month ago he didn't come home as he usually does so after me messaging him he finally rocked home around 8pm we have 2 babies under 2 so I do need aHand from him. His face when he came home. First thing he said was if you want me to go I will and I was like woah Whats up? He then told me he had taken money out of the joint account and gambled it.hes never done that b4 it was rent money. Long story short we cried together I told him I am not going anywhere we will get thru it but he needs to get help b4 are babies can really see what's going on now is the time to sort it. He's 35 still so young. Anyway I didn't really press him to sort it I told him to self refer to get councilling. I personally think it's all related to his child hood. He was in care as a kid his mum had a drink problem and he was neglected when we first got together he had an issue with drugs but he overcame that and has really come so far. But in the grand scheme of things I think he is depressed. It's like hes swapped that addiction for this. He gets paid weekly and gives me a certain amount and the rest is his it's alot for him to have for himself but he blows it and never has a penny by Saturday. Feel like I am rambling now sorry thanks for keeping up if you have so far.  Fast forward to Friday he come home from work late and he was broken, his father is elderly and my husband helps him alot he had used his card and not only blew his dad's virgin and sky money (hubby pays it for him) he had taken an extra xxx pound out of his dad's account plus he had asked to borrow xxx. So he blew all of it that day he owed me money to. He has never ever done that b4. I have paid the virgin and sky and put some money back in for his dad he has now given me his bank card and all of his wage. He told his dad not to give him money any more and I will now sort the virgin and sky out basically hes cut of all his funding and if he needs something he has to ask me. He is also going to a meeting on Friday he is going to try it. I have said that you need to want to quit. It's the roulette hes not even playing to win anymore hes just literally setting fire to his money every week. I have deleted all apps of his phone I have put a pic of the kids as his screen saver with a note to say we love you. I sat with him told him I loved him and that we will get thru this I will really help him now and hes not to touch no money ever. He didn't want to tell his dad the extent of his problem he said he doesn't want to worry him as he is old. But he has told him a small part to make sure his dad doesn't give him and money any more. Was heartbreaking seeing like that. He kept saying he felt like he was going to do something stupid. Really broke my heart.i adore this man. He loves running and training so we are making a point of getting that back in action.to keep his head clear. Is there anything else I can do ? Also he was playing on roulette last night but it's like a fantasy one I said am not sure that's good for you. What do you think? Sorry for the long post I just really want to help him thru this.  He does want to quit. I no hes depressed I asked him if he was Looking forward to the future and he said no hes feeling pretty hopeless.  So I do think he's depressed he lost his mum wen he was young too and his sisters kind of left him. But I have told him he is loved so so much by us and we believe in him. I have been reading and researching I have told him I will not bail him out again phewwww thanks for reading xx
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#2
(12-12-2017, 11:47 AM)MrsBMummylife Wrote:
Thanks to anyone taking the tome to read this. My husband is a gambler. It started like most a few accas and horses but it's increasingly got worse. He has a good job and makes a nice wage a couple of weeks ago actually about a month ago he didn't come home as he usually does so after me messaging him he finally rocked home around 8pm we have 2 babies under 2 so I do need aHand from him. His face when he came home. First thing he said was if you want me to go I will and I was like woah Whats up? He then told me he had taken money out of the joint account and gambled it.hes never done that b4 it was rent money. Long story short we cried together I told him I am not going anywhere we will get thru it but he needs to get help b4 are babies can really see what's going on now is the time to sort it. He's 35 still so young. Anyway I didn't really press him to sort it I told him to self refer to get councilling. I personally think it's all related to his child hood. He was in care as a kid his mum had a drink problem and he was neglected when we first got together he had an issue with drugs but he overcame that and has really come so far. But in the grand scheme of things I think he is depressed. It's like hes swapped that addiction for this. He gets paid weekly and gives me a certain amount and the rest is his it's alot for him to have for himself but he blows it and never has a penny by Saturday. Feel like I am rambling now sorry thanks for keeping up if you have so far.  Fast forward to Friday he come home from work late and he was broken, his father is elderly and my husband helps him alot he had used his card and not only blew his dad's virgin and sky money (hubby pays it for him) he had taken an extra xxx pound out of his dad's account plus he had asked to borrow xxx. So he blew all of it that day he owed me money to. He has never ever done that b4. I have paid the virgin and sky and put some money back in for his dad he has now given me his bank card and all of his wage. He told his dad not to give him money any more and I will now sort the virgin and sky out basically hes cut of all his funding and if he needs something he has to ask me. He is also going to a meeting on Friday he is going to try it. I have said that you need to want to quit. It's the roulette hes not even playing to win anymore hes just literally setting fire to his money every week. I have deleted all apps of his phone I have put a pic of the kids as his screen saver with a note to say we love you. I sat with him told him I loved him and that we will get thru this I will really help him now and hes not to touch no money ever. He didn't want to tell his dad the extent of his problem he said he doesn't want to worry him as he is old. But he has told him a small part to make sure his dad doesn't give him and money any more. Was heartbreaking seeing like that. He kept saying he felt like he was going to do something stupid. Really broke my heart.i adore this man. He loves running and training so we are making a point of getting that back in action.to keep his head clear. Is there anything else I can do ? Also he was playing on roulette last night but it's like a fantasy one I said am not sure that's good for you. What do you think? Sorry for the long post I just really want to help him thru this.  He does want to quit. I no hes depressed I asked him if he was Looking forward to the future and he said no hes feeling pretty hopeless.  So I do think he's depressed he lost his mum wen he was young too and his sisters kind of left him. But I have told him he is loved so so much by us and we believe in him. I have been reading and researching I have told him I will not bail him out again phewwww thanks for reading xx
Sorry. No words of advice just in a very similar situation as of this weekend. I normally fix all the problems in our house but have asked my husband to leave for a week to give me space and now feel terrible. He is promising to go to a GA meeting next week - not this one tho! I think he’s telling me what I want to hear. How have you gone on x
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#3
I'm new here too and don't have many answers, but for me (and I'm 5 weeks into my journey following a 28 year addiction to slots), the change came in my head. No amount of cajoling, ranting, talking about it previously with anyone made any difference [of course I would tell people that I wanted to change, I'd tell them anything they wanted to hear to get them off my back and/or help me out]. It's different now, and I want to change, so I'm putting 100% into the program and have fully opened up to my nearest and dearest.

I have found the GA meetings to be a revelation. There are many others just like me who are compulsive gamblers. The freedom to talk it out, listen to advice and take inspiration has added a great deal of strength and resolve to me.

Perhaps you could ask your husband to read through some of the stories, recovery diaries on here, there is a lot of inspiration and a lot of realism, it may help him to begin to open up and fully accept his problem.

Best wishes. STT
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