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The Journey Begins
#7
Been almost 2 weeks since my last post. In my head I am convinced it's only been a week but the posting dates indicate otherwise.

Life has flown by, I'm very pleased to have got past 60 days now, and in the last week or so I have had a test or two which I'm pleased to have passed. I live to fight another day and I am another further away from my last gamble.

Life in group has been good, and I've seen a lot of the regular members pick up awards for longevity of abstinence. They are insipiring and I'm hopeful that one day I will also earn such awards.

So what was the test? Well.....I was sent a cheque from my outgoing energy provider, and I needed to pay it into the bank. As I'm now full time working in a small village without my bank, I'm limited to the main town centre on a Saturday morning.

I parked up and walked the shortest route to the bank without giving a second thought to my route. It was though straight walk through the worst part of town and past where there are 6 bookies and a number of pawn shops.

As I was walking, the demon on my shoulder was chirping in my ear, "go on lad, you've got some money in your pocket", "can't do that much damage you don't have your card", "little bet won't hurt". Thankfully though I sped my pace up and ignored the little blighter and got to the bank safe and sound, duly paid in my cheque and then turned around to come home again.

This time, knowing the voice of unreason was close I decided to call my wife on route and keep her on the phone long enough for me to walk past without another thought. I congratulated myself with a KFC for the family on the way home, and yes I'm pretty pleased that a coping mechanism worked well and that I was able to keep away. I honestly thought though I'd be a lot stronger and would give it not a second, but the truth is, this illness will rear up at every opportunity.

I've taken to watching the odd YouTube video about recovering gamblers. But the first thing I watched yesterday was a BBC documentary starring the greek guy out of the real hustle. It was very enlightening, and there was a section on how the brain of a compulsive gambler is wired very differently to that of a non compulsive gambler. To me it helped rationalise how and why we are different to our friends and nearest and dearest. And I enjoyed the program as the message that came out loud and clear was just how invaluable the meetings are.

I'm fast becomming proud to be a GA member, and not ashamed of my illness. I will ultimately use the knowledge to help others, but first I must become stronger myself.

Stay strong, and keep at it one date at a time.
I will not give in to this illness.
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Messages In This Thread
The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-01-2018, 08:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-01-2018, 09:46 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 17-01-2018, 04:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 23-01-2018, 09:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 24-01-2018, 11:18 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-02-2018, 09:44 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-02-2018, 05:29 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 13-02-2018, 05:47 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-02-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 28-02-2018, 12:07 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 28-02-2018, 12:28 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-03-2018, 10:41 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 12-03-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-03-2018, 10:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 27-03-2018, 06:36 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by smartie - 28-03-2018, 06:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 29-03-2018, 10:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-04-2018, 02:27 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 06-04-2018, 03:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-04-2018, 06:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-05-2018, 07:58 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-05-2018, 09:08 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 12:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-05-2018, 01:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:46 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:03 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 03-07-2018, 11:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 07-07-2018, 01:40 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 08:41 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-07-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-08-2018, 09:22 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-08-2018, 09:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:25 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 18-09-2018, 07:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 18-09-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 11-10-2018, 10:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 12-10-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 07-01-2019, 12:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:37 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:45 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 21-05-2020, 08:06 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by gadaveuk - 04-07-2020, 05:48 AM

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