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The Journey Begins
#23
Hi,

So I've gone and cocked up......

And it's not what you think, I haven't had a bet or gambled and I'm on day 147 today, which is great.

The bank holiday weekend really threw me out, I though Sunday was Saturday until some point on Monday when I realised it wasn't Sunday but Monday, and that I'd missed my GA meeting the day before. First time I've missed and I will be going tonight as an extra visit this week as I owe it to myself to keep up my attendance as it keeps me solid in my resolution to stay away.

I don't have any defense for missing the meeting, but I was busy in the back garden giving the jungle it's first trim of the year and generally de-weeding so the kids can play on without stinging themselves. I also genuinely thought it was Saturday.

Having been thoroughly annoyed at myself for a couple of days I have now moved on in my head, and decided that there was no harm done really. I haven't had a bet and I'm still safe.

What makes it slightly weird though, and where I can't then square up the timeline in my head is that on the Saturday, as per normal we do a load of kids activities in the morning (football, martial arts, swimming), and an additional activity this week was both boys attending their cousins pizza party. My turn to do all the taking this week, as with me being away with work the wife has had to do it alone, and so a small gesture from me to give her some space away from the kids and a lie in if she so wanted one.

So...did all the clubs...and then dropped the kids at the party...left me with 2 hours to kill...so, I wandered into the local town, 10 minute walk way, and a place where there are multiple bookies/pawn shops and where previously I have gambled, but on this occasion I wanted to look around the shops and to test myself in my resolve to see if my willpower was strong enough not to yield to the devil who was whispering in my ear.

I'm happy to report, that I managed to browse enough shops, eat enough Greggs sausage rolls and bump into enough people (including 1 GA member, and my mother in law), that I didn't even have a wobble. And when my 2 hours was up - I collected the kids and went home.

I was so looking forward to telling the group that I'd survived, and that I would do so when I went to the meeting on the Sunday. As above though, I didn't go....so that will have to keep until tongiht/this coming Sunday. I am pleased with myself, as the old feelings of nervous excitement (butterflies), were definitely there with the suggestions coming from my shoulder devil. I'm firm and resolute in my abstinance, and whilst I wish the voices weren't there anymore, they don't have the power over me they once did

Hope you are all doing well in your respective recoveries,

One day at a time, I choose a life without gambling, long may it stay that way.
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Messages In This Thread
The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-01-2018, 08:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-01-2018, 09:46 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 17-01-2018, 04:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 23-01-2018, 09:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 24-01-2018, 11:18 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-02-2018, 09:44 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-02-2018, 05:29 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 13-02-2018, 05:47 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-02-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 28-02-2018, 12:07 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 28-02-2018, 12:28 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-03-2018, 10:41 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 12-03-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-03-2018, 10:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 27-03-2018, 06:36 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by smartie - 28-03-2018, 06:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 29-03-2018, 10:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-04-2018, 02:27 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 06-04-2018, 03:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-04-2018, 06:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-05-2018, 07:58 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-05-2018, 09:08 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 12:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-05-2018, 01:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:46 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:03 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 03-07-2018, 11:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 07-07-2018, 01:40 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 08:41 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-07-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-08-2018, 09:22 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-08-2018, 09:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:25 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 18-09-2018, 07:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 18-09-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 11-10-2018, 10:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 12-10-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 07-01-2019, 12:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:37 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:45 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 21-05-2020, 08:06 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by gadaveuk - 04-07-2020, 05:48 AM

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