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The Journey Begins
#27
Evening,

It's been a while since I have had time to sit at the computer and compose a message, another trip to the USA with work followed by a very hectic work schedule which saw most of my bank holiday weekend being swallowed up. Not complaining, I enjoy my job, and we are making good progress.

According to my timer, I have now been off for 167 days, 21 hours, 29 minutes and a few seconds.

I can't quite beleive how fast the time has gone, and more recently being so busy how much it has sped up. Another couple of weeks I will have hit the 6 month mark and that will be quite something.

I can also see the benefits in my bank balance, my credit rating, and in my wife's eyes from being away from the devil.
I've been able to treat myself to a new phone, and I have a small pot of savings going in anticipation of 2019 summer holiday, although it could quite easily be used for improvements (long needed) around the home, stuff that I couldn't even contemplate before without getting out another loan/credit card.

The spiral I was in is nothing short of crazy, and when I look at what it was doing to me, I wonder how on earth did I keep up the pretence that everything was fine for so long? How did I manage to spin such a web of lies that I went unquestioned for 20 plus years.

We had a good GA meeting last Sunday, which was a bit of an open forum. And I had something to share, that I'm still shocked by.

Our two boys were in a swimming gala last weekend, and as dutiful parents keen to support them we duly lined up in the spectators queue. Sign on the door said entrance fee x, raffle tickets y, programme z. I handed over x to the wife who then asked me if I wanted a y or a z.......I was absolutely gobsmacked......immediately I said no y's please as I can't, and I will have a z. She looked at me in a strange way, and asked me again if I wanted a raffle ticket......(previously I would have had a tenners worth), as I always convinced myself that I was donating to charity.....in reality I was spread betting to hopefully secure a decent prize.

Again I said no, and quietly reminded her that I cannot gamble, and will not gamble. Bless her, she was so embarrassed that she had put me in that position, but luckily with my 160 plus days behind me, there was not a thought that even wanted one. I have accepted that I can't and that's that.

It just goes to show, that despite going through all of this with me, the mind of a non gambler is wired very differently to the one of a compulsive gambler.

I will be missing my GA meeting this weekend, as we have a couple of family trips lined up so I will be redoubling efforts next week and will attend a minimum of 2 meetings.

It's the meetings that I credit with keeping me clean, I wont ever stop going, I never want to go back to my life of old.

Speak to you all soon,

One day at a time, I choose a life without gambling, long may it stay that way.
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Messages In This Thread
The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-01-2018, 08:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-01-2018, 09:46 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 17-01-2018, 04:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 23-01-2018, 09:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 24-01-2018, 11:18 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-02-2018, 09:44 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-02-2018, 05:29 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 13-02-2018, 05:47 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-02-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 28-02-2018, 12:07 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 28-02-2018, 12:28 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-03-2018, 10:41 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 12-03-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-03-2018, 10:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 27-03-2018, 06:36 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by smartie - 28-03-2018, 06:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 29-03-2018, 10:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-04-2018, 02:27 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 06-04-2018, 03:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-04-2018, 06:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-05-2018, 07:58 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-05-2018, 09:08 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 12:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-05-2018, 01:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:46 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:03 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 03-07-2018, 11:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 07-07-2018, 01:40 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 08:41 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-07-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-08-2018, 09:22 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-08-2018, 09:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:25 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 18-09-2018, 07:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 18-09-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 11-10-2018, 10:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 12-10-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 07-01-2019, 12:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:37 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:45 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 21-05-2020, 08:06 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by gadaveuk - 04-07-2020, 05:48 AM

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