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The Journey Begins
#45
Hi

I was told that the success of the recovery program was not very good for addicts.

I went back to my addictions and obsessions may times and it was very hard going back to meetings, yet I kept at it.

The recovery program is not a race, it is and was very slow baby steps getting back to being a healthy person.

There was no way that I enjoyed lying to people, I did not like cheating them and myself, with each bet my fears grew,  with each lie my fears grew, I got used to being afraid of facing myself.

The spiritual recovery program is just a manual to learning how to heal the hurt inner child and also mature and learn to articulate and express my feelings and my emotions.

I view the recovery program as being like mountain climbers that are tied to other people who will demonstrate to me new skills and how to live a healthy path in my life.

I did have a lot of intolerance and impatience with my sef and with the recovery program, over time I slowed down my thinking and my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I could not cope with.

Each time I broke out I felt like I had let the people in the meetings down, not so with each gamble I was going to understand my emotional triggers and when I was vulnerable.

I have been in the recovery program since before 1969, yet I have only been clean since 1992.

It took me along time to not only learn how recovery works but to also live just for today only, life is not a race, life is a slow learning curve for me.

In the old days I would have lived in fear of the virus, because I respect myself I do not take risks I wear face masks on mixing with people in shops.

It was important for me to hand over all finances to another person.

I was given 10 per days to spend, and over time I did not spend my money each day.

I could not trust myself with money,  I could not be honest with myself, I could not respect myself, I could not love myself, I could not be a healthy person all the time I was obsessed with my addictions and obsessions.

Today I am emotionally detached from all feelings and emotions towards Gambling.

I do not hate gambling, I do not love gambling, I do not fear gambling, it is just an unhealthy habit I have given up just for today only.

Just for today I will set healthy  boundaries for myself.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
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Messages In This Thread
The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-01-2018, 08:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-01-2018, 09:46 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 17-01-2018, 04:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 23-01-2018, 09:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 24-01-2018, 11:18 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-02-2018, 09:44 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 13-02-2018, 05:29 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 13-02-2018, 05:47 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-02-2018, 10:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 28-02-2018, 12:07 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 28-02-2018, 12:28 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-03-2018, 10:41 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 12-03-2018, 11:19 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-03-2018, 10:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 27-03-2018, 06:36 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by smartie - 28-03-2018, 06:51 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 29-03-2018, 10:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 06-04-2018, 02:27 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 06-04-2018, 03:21 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-04-2018, 06:48 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-05-2018, 07:58 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-05-2018, 09:08 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 12:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-05-2018, 01:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 09-05-2018, 04:09 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-05-2018, 09:46 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 31-05-2018, 11:03 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 03-07-2018, 11:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 07-07-2018, 01:40 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 09-07-2018, 08:41 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 19-07-2018, 09:49 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 01-08-2018, 09:22 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Simmo - 01-08-2018, 09:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 02-09-2018, 08:25 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 18-09-2018, 07:43 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 18-09-2018, 10:39 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 11-10-2018, 10:17 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by Chris_b - 12-10-2018, 09:15 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 30-12-2018, 09:48 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 07-01-2019, 12:30 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-06-2019, 06:37 AM
RE: The Journey Begins - by StrengthToStop - 20-05-2020, 02:45 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by shoebox - 21-05-2020, 08:06 PM
RE: The Journey Begins - by gadaveuk - 04-07-2020, 05:48 AM

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