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Losing friends...
#11
Day 11 of my recovery today (I will not gamble). I have realised that this forum is not for me, the posts take so long to be displayed my previous post sent at 15.11 displayed 21 hours later. I will try some other medium for support.
Good luck to all fighting their addictions. Abstain and maintain.
Micky
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#12
Keep posting Micky68, the forum isn't for instant reply, but for sharing your experience. There are many other methods for immediate support, many meetings have a whatsapp group for ongoing support. I'll pm you also.

Keep going one day at a time.

Simmo

I tried to send you a private message but you have them disabled. It helps many people who read your progress.

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#13
Thankyou for your support and encouragement Simmo, I'm sure, that like me, many of the readers of this forum take strength from your success and wisdom. I hope that by meeting this addiction head on, I too can be an inspiration to others as you are to me. I WILL be attending a GA meeting next Tuesday, I know that the feeling of shame will quickly evaporate and I'll be made welcome. I guess I'm very fortunate that there are regular meetings in my area Monday, Tuesday and Friday and just walking into that room and accepting the fellowship and shared experience with other problem gamblers will help me enormously. I still have an inner strength that this time I will not follow the cycle of old and convince myself that I can be a controlled gambler after a period of abstinence.....Today I will be 13 days gamble free, I may be at the very start of my recovery, but I fervently believe that my resolve will stand firm.

Just for today I will not surrender to my addiction.
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#14
Hi Micky,

Thank you for your kind words, it's made my day to know that I can be an inspiration to others in recovery. I'm not special, far from it, I'm just working at recovery as has been suggested to me and it's working. Well done for 13 days, keep on keeping on one day at a time. I too am lucky with the number of local meetings I can get to, I normally go every wednesday, but if I can't make that which I've not been able to for the last 3 weeks, then there is another I can go to on Thursday, Friday or monday. Each meeting is slightly different with different people but the message and purpose is exactly the same, to stop gambling and help others do the same.

Wishing you well

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#15
Day 14 successfully negotiated. I spent today buying m son a HTC Vive, it was less expensive than last months gambling losses, the joy on his face was priceless. I cannot turn the clock back, I accept that I gambled in the past, I lost....I cannot change the past....but I can create a new beginning.
Today I didn't gamble.
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#16
Keep up the progress Micky, One day at a time. I get a lot of satisfaction out of the things we can do as a family with money that would have been spent gambling. It's a different life than I once lived, and I am grateful to be living in recovery.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#17
I am well aware that my problem gambling wasn't about money....it was about the buzz /escape that gambling provided. Of course there were significant wins, but they were soon "reinvested" a wise man once said that gambling money is "two bob a bucketload" it has no value, it finances addiction....and causes misery.... The gambling industry takes so much and gives nothing in return. I feel reprieved, I don't mourn my addiction....I'm finally living a life.
Today I will not gamble (day 16).
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#18
Day 16 of my recovery. I will attend my first GA meeting this evening and I'm looking forward to sharing my thoughts and feelings and listening to others with the same problems. I feel pretty good, it's as though a change has taken place in me and there is a positivity that I can live without gambling. Tonight will be the first time I will lay myself bare, disclose the secret which generates considerable shame....my weakness. I know that I'm not alone though and I also know that if I am to continue with my positive approach attending meetings will foster that positivity.
I look forward to sharing the experience.

I have not gambled today.
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#19
Hi Micky,

Did you get to the meeting ok? I'm interested to hear how it went.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#20
Hello Simmo,
Yes I attended my meeting last Tuesday, it was very local (10 minutes walk) I arrived early and waited across the road from the venue observing the arrivals. I convinced myself that there would inevitably be people I recognised, I have frequented the betting shops in my town for years, my addiction making it necessary to have the location of them all at my fingertips....many of the clientele are familiar to me and even if I don't know them, outside of that twilight zone environment if you see them in the street there may be a nod or at the very least eye contact.....acknowledgement that we're "punters". I was torn between wanting to see a familiar face and maintaining my anonymity....how ridiculous, when I was about to declare my problem with a room full of strangers. I entered the building 2 minutes before the meeting time, there was a sign advertising the "meeting room" it never said what the meeting was for (I later learned that it also hosts AA meetings on a Saturday and also Narcotics Anonymous meetings) I'm not sure if I was expecting a big sign saying Problem Gamblers this way....anyway as there was only one meeting scheduled I knew I was in the right room, tentatively confirming with a middle aged woman who gave me a warm smile and said "welcome".
There were 14 people at the meeting, more than I anticipated, I guess that assumption was based on my own reluctance to seek the fellowship of others. It was pretty apparent that many in attendance were familiar with each other and after a couple of minutes of "catching up" (I was quite surprised that there wer 6 women in attendance, my gambling restricted to betting shops where they aren't too evident) the meeting began chaired by G who welcomed everyone and declared that it was good to see a couple of new faces. The time flew I took the opportunity to introduce myself ....found to my surprise that I spoke for 20 mins talking about my introduction to gambling, how it become a problem, the impact it had on my life (and those around me) how I wanted to change and my commitment to do so.....it was liberating. I didn't feel alone, in a room full of strangers I was amongst friends ....as I spoke there were nods and even smiles as I shared experience....there was empathy and understanding and support which I'm not ashamed to say led to a few tears on my short walk home.
I feel that I've made a huge step by entering that room, I listened to the feedback from "my story" and was humbled by others experiences, at no stage did I feel that I didn't belong. The common experience and objectives we shared promoted a warmth in the room that I still feel days later. I know that I will be a regular at this meeting now, and, as I become more familiar with those in attendance on Tuesday, so do I hope that I can attend other meetings in the district. I discovered yesterday that due to work commitments I will not be able to attend next Tuesday, my immediate reaction was ...what will the others think ? ...that I've attended once and that I won't be back ? It was as if I was going to let them down....all my talk of commitment to follow the 12 stages of recovery and an empty chair when they arrive in that hall next week....it has affected me.
I need to be less harsh on myself, I have made a breakthrough, there will be other meetings and attending on Tuesday has strengthened my resolve. To see others sharing similar predicaments advertises that I'm not alone, and that I don't have to battle this problem alone.

Today will see me complete 19 consecutive days gamble free. Today I won't gamble.

Abstain and maintain
Micky
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