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Losing friends...
#21
Hi Micky,

I'm so glad that you had that experience of the meeting, it's the same experience I had. Keep it up mate, one day at a time

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#22
I am trying to identify why I gambled (it's great to adopt the past tense there) I don't really want to over analyse, but clearly there was something missing in my life. Like many gamblers my addiction was like an affair, a secret, it made me deceitful, it took my dignity....and yet I returned time and time again. I was never a daily gambler, I binge gambled, thrill seeking. I am so thankful that I never gambled online, my addiction conducted away from my family in betting shops. I guess I was arrogant enough to believe I was able to control my gambling....I have realised that I want to choose a life free of gambling rather than a life destroyed by it. I have broken my routine and changed my mindset, clearing my head of any negativity....I celebrate the end of each day that represents another gamble free day. I will, in time, address the issues that encouraged me to gamble, but for now I will focus on living for today.

Day 24 ...today I will not gamble.
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#23
Hi Micky,

Initially the focus has to be stopping gambling, and you are doing well there mate. For some, the reason behind why they gambled isn't something necessary to discover, it wasn't that way for me. In doing the 12 steps with my sponsor, I was able to get to the bottom of the reasons I would try to escape from real life through gambling. I had counselling for the areas of my life that needed to be addressed after I'd stopped gambling, and this along with meetings has really helped me to understand me. It's all about being more self aware, and I'm grateful to be in this frame of mind now.

In Unity, One Day at a Time

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#24
Day 44 of my recovery and an email from a race tipster company has completely thrown me. I know that I should have just deleted it, but I read it and it took me back to the old feelings of having "an edge" a system to beat the bookies....privileged information. I wasn't aware that I'd subscribed to their service and I discovered the mail in my junk folder. I know that all of their boasts are complete nonsense, and yet, reading it evoked feelings I've not experienced for the six weeks I've abstained. In the short time I've stopped gambling my bank balance has swollen, I've slept better, had more time, eaten more healthily, feel more alert, and yes, I like myself more. I have watched the World Cup football not worrying about the next goal and how it'll influence my bet, the advertisements that it matters more with a bet are now lost on me. My reason for revisiting this site are that I'm unable to attend my GA meeting tonight due to work commitments and I need to address how I feel.

Today I will not gamble.....despite this reawakened feeling.

Micky
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#25
Hey Micky,

Well done for acknowledging the issue. For me gambling opportunities and the call to gamble are everywhere...

I rarely get the peace you do, but on the times i do, i know how valuable it can be so you are right to address your feelings...

My solution is to keep working the tools i have, any blockers and make sure i get back to GA as soon as i can....

Maybe you could also give your sponsor a ring? chat it through with them?

Anyway keep in touch

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#26
Thanks Smartie,
I rarely think about gambling now, I feel completely detached from it, I am aware though, that complacency could well be my downfall. I will leave for work shortly, my shift alongside a colleague who will spend the afternoon on his phone gambling, I have not shared that I'm a recovering problem gambler and don't preach the ills of gambling to him. I am thankful that my resolve is strong, I reached 160 days in my previous abstention and then convinced myself that I was in control, a valuable lesson that I am unable to be in charge of this problem, that kind of arrogance will no longer prove an obstacle. I have a problem with gambling and only by abstaining am I able to be in control.
I generally visit the racecourse for an evening meeting with friends in July ...Hooves and Grooves an evening meeting followed by live music....I am concerned about going but do feel that I can go and not be drawn into gambling....I realise that it is placing temptation in my way and I even know that it will fall on day 83 of my recovery....I am confidant that I can reach and surpass that milestone.

Regards
Micky
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#27
Hi Micky,

I often question whether or not I could go to a function at a casino, then I think to myself, is it worth the risk? Personally, I don't go to gambling establishments, mainly because I have no interest in gambling, and do not want to test myself. The last time I went to a racecourse, I was gambling, but also trying to control it, I was successful on the day as in I didn't go mad, but the next day everything spiralled out of control again.

It's your recovery, and your life, but personally, I wouldn't go.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#28
Hello Simmo,
Hope you're well. I completely understand your reasoning, why place myself in a vulnerable position ?
It dawned on me as I travelled to Aintree that I needed to make a lifestyle choice, hotels were booked, grandstand seats purchased, all at great expense. I went with my partner, there was no backing out, I decided that all placed bets would be on her behalf she would be having a flutter...not me. Ironically she did very well....I watched the races, soaked up the atmosphere and wished like many in attendance that I could have controlled my gambling, that it could have been fun. I acknowledged then that I couldn't and three weeks later I placed my last bet when out with friends. My restraint at Liverpool demonstrated that I am able to enjoy sport without the need to gamble on it, I have enjoyed the French Open tennis, the US Open golf and the World Cup football without the need to back my judgement financially....unthinkable in the past. I haven't been without support, friends and family, GA family, this forum, a great book by Philip Mawer (really helpful) ....but most of all it's the thought of what my future holds if I continue to squander a large portion of my salary each month....I have come to the end of the road with this problem....I know that I am one bet away from undoing the positive start I've made....I know that you will understand that.
I have taken responsibility for organising the trip to the races each year, and, it will fall upon me to do that again. In the past I have started to study the form of the meeting from the four day declarations, I would be cognisant with all the form when I was at the course, for me the evening was about the racing. I will attend this year without that preparation.....I will not consume alcohol and like at Liverpool I will enjoy the occasion knowing that I can't gamble....I am confident that I can do that, and, in the event that I don't feel confident or vulnerable I will arrive after racing for the music. I have, of course, considered not attending, but I need to confront this problem and not let it control my social life. I was in town yesterday and was desperate for the toilet, I popped into a betting shop to use the facilities....first time I'd entered one in 44 days....I looked at the handful of customers and felt sad for them, knew that whilst there may be some controlled gamblers in there, some others would have the same problem as me....as I left I heard a man cursing at one of the fixed odds betting terminals....I am glad to be in recovery.
There are 38 days until my scheduled outing, of course I will treat each day without gambling as a victory....my resolution is unwavering. I would be interested in others opinions on my decision and any advice/help on how to approach this issue.
Happy to discuss it with you Simmo and buy you a beer ?
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#29
Hey Micky,

Clearly you have a plan right now and you think you'll be ok...

Will you be? that's the question....my only suggestion would be to keep an open mind to it.

Many times in recovery from this illness i've tried to get myself back into the lifestyle of gambling...similar for me to an alcoholic going to sit in a pub, smell the drinks etc....but i know where this ends for me...

Kind of feels you are still trying to make your mind up on this....

Truely wish you the best....

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

Reply
#30
(20-06-2018, 09:16 AM)MickyK68 Wrote: Hello Simmo,
Hope you're well. I completely understand your reasoning, why place myself in a vulnerable position ?
It dawned on me as I travelled to Aintree that I needed to make a lifestyle choice, hotels were booked, grandstand seats purchased, all at great expense. I went with my partner, there was no backing out, I decided that all placed bets would be on her behalf she would be having a flutter...not me. Ironically she did very well....I watched the races, soaked up the atmosphere and wished like many in attendance that I could have controlled my gambling, that it could have been fun. I acknowledged then that I couldn't and three weeks later I placed my last bet when out with friends. My restraint at Liverpool demonstrated that I am able to enjoy sport without the need to gamble on it, I have enjoyed the French Open tennis, the US Open golf and the World Cup football without the need to back my judgement financially....unthinkable in the past. I haven't been without support, friends and family, GA family, this forum, a great book by Philip Mawer (really helpful) ....but most of all it's the thought of what my future holds if I continue to squander a large portion of my salary each month....I have come to the end of the road with this problem....I know that I am one bet away from undoing the positive start I've made....I know that you will understand that.
I have taken responsibility for organising the trip to the races each year, and, it will fall upon me to do that again. In the past I have started to study the form of the meeting from the four day declarations, I would be cognisant with all the form when I was at the course, for me the evening was about the racing. I will attend this year without that preparation.....I will not consume alcohol and like at Liverpool I will enjoy the occasion knowing that I can't gamble....I am confident that I can do that, and, in the event that I don't feel confident or vulnerable I will arrive after racing for the music. I have, of course, considered not attending, but I need to confront this problem and not let it control my social life. I was in town yesterday and was desperate for the toilet, I popped into a betting shop to use the facilities....first time I'd entered one in 44 days....I looked at the handful of customers and felt sad for them, knew that whilst there may be some controlled gamblers in there, some others would have the same problem as me....as I left I heard a man cursing at one of the fixed odds betting terminals....I am glad to be in recovery.
There are 38 days until my scheduled outing, of course I will treat each day without gambling as a victory....my resolution is unwavering. I would be interested in others opinions on my decision and any advice/help on how to approach this issue.
Happy to discuss it with you Simmo and buy you a beer ?

Hi MickyK68, 

I do understand, and the fact you also have an escape plan is great.  The only reason for me saying anything is genuine concern, there's no justification required mate.  If you are able to, and your resolve and plans not to gamble are in place are there, it's entirely your decision.  I know for me, the temptation would be there, and I would be battling with thoughts and feelings that I am glad to leave behind me, and fighting those thoughts, for me, would detract from enjoying the social occasion.  Maybe consider this the last trip to the races and try an alternate social gathering, golf / spa weekend etc.  

I too am so glad to be in recovery, life is much easier to deal with when I actually deal with it and not run away to gambling isolation. 

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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