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Losing friends...
#31
Thanks fellas,
The thought of returning to a gambling environment does naturally concern me....it's represents a challenge which could, naturally, be avoided. I will, obviously, reassess the situation nearer the time, and, if I have any doubts, I won't attend. I am not arrogant enough to believe that I can control my gambling ....the orange book confirms that. I feel like I'm living again...I have time for others and feel healthier physically, emotionally and spiritually ....I don't want to relinquish that.
Your support is greatly appreciated. Today I won't gamble.
In Unity
Micky Hove GA
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#32
Day 49.
I now wonder how I found the time to gamble. I struggle to fit everything into my day....and yet, when I was gambling, (and it was binge gambling) I could lose hours doing that....avoiding life. I do realise that it was never about money, rare winnings just provided the next stake....I am working today and then attend a barbecue later, I won't be distracted at the barbecue, thinking about my next bet or how I can conceal this weeks losses....
Recovery is better than the buzz of gambling which controlled me.

I wish all those in recovery clarity and serenity. Today I won't gamble.

Micky
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#33
MickyK68 Don't worry too much about what you will or will not do in the future, just concentrate on your recovery in the now. 50 odd days is s great achievement but the books ask you give it 90 days to get some clarity away from the mental mess that compulsive gambling causes us. It also advises staying away from gambling establishments, including popping in to use the toilet. There's no need to test yourself and we'll worry about this trip to the races at a later stage...hopefully by then you'll see the positive effects on your life and won't want to throw it away. Good luck to you.
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
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#34
Thanks Chris,
I think the lack of desire and urge for me to gamble is largely responsible for me looking ahead.I can honestly say that I am finding abstinence very comfortable and yet I know that I am just that one gamble away from undoing all my good work and intentions. I now fill my time with significantly more positive things, but, work permitting, pledge to attend at least one GA meeting a week. I do not separate myself from those I encounter who experience more difficulty abstaining than I currently do, I am a compulsive gambler who "binge gambles" I am still taking my recovery a day at a time (day 57 today) and my awareness of complacency is sharpened by my relapse after several months last year...alcohol was the catalyst then and I have taken on board how my judgement was impaired. I have lost contact with my friends (as I considered I may have to when this post started) I understand that socialising with them would detain me in a gambling environment ....hardly conducive to my recovery.

Total I will not gamble.

Micky
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#35
Sorry for the delay. That sounds much better, you sound much clearer in your thinking. I try to make my recovery as easy as possible. That's not to say I believe it easy, but avoiding situations that might affect me is easier than fighting the temptations by being in those situations. Have a good week.
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
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#36
Tomorrow marks ten weeks since my last gamble, I feel healthier and rarely think about gambling. I finally understand that my competitive nature dictated that I chased losses, I couldn't walk away accepting a loss and binge gambled until I'd emptied my pockets. I don't miss those walks home from the bookies cursing my misfortune....I was destined to lose. I no longer check my direct debit bills to establish if there'll be any money left over to gamble with....I now watch my bank balance grow and wonder how I can treat those close to me.
I am 69 days into my new life, released from my addiction...today I did not gamble.
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#37
Well done Micky, it's great to see you growing in confidence. Keep up the abstinence, things only get better from here on in.
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#38
Thanks STS, returning to this forum and knowing that I'm not alone sustains me. The fellowship at GA is also invaluable, yesterday, probably for the first time in my 80 day abstinence, I considered gambling, arrogantly believing that my restraint demonstrates that I'm in control of this problem. I have, in the past, succumbed to temptation at this stage, yesterday I went for a run and after a shower I visited this forum.
I will not gamble today.

Micky.
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#39
Day 83.
Not going to the races. I'm working instead. My recent feelings towards my problems a huge factor in my decision. For several weeks I have been aware that today would be a test, a challenge to my fortitude. I have realised that my attendance at the race meeting won't help with my recovery.
I know that I need to take one day at a time, but tomorrow I will complete 12 weeks gamble free and for that I feel very happy.
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#40
Hi Micky68,

I think you have done the right thing mate. Putting recovery above everything else means that I can more useful to others, and to myself.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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