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Do I live with a gambler?
#11
Hello Serena,
I was reading your original post for a while until I realised it was from last year so I wondered what had happened for there to be an update, although I guessed.
It's a pattern as old as gambling has been around. I did the same thing as a gambler. I stopped when I didn't have any money and started again almost to the minute that I did!
He will keep doing this until he can't but for all your love you can't do it for him. In my own experience, unfortunately, my wife found the strength to finish our relationship because I would have ruined her and my children's life's if she hadn't, and I'm pleased that she now has a good, hopefully happy, life.
Your boyfriend has to want to get help. He clearly has a problem and needs to find a room of people who can understand him without judgement, but all the time you and the family enable his gambling he won't stop.
My advice is for you. Do you want to continue this way of life? If you don't then tell him and give him a choice, find help or do it on his own. Look after yourself. If you get a mortgage with him(God forbid), get it in your name only! But also understand he has an addiction and you can get back the person you fell in love with but he has to want to change.
There are meetings all around the country and he will get the help with his illness at any meeting.
I wish him well but look after yourself. Don't bail him out anymore. A fire only goes out when the oxygen supply is cut off. Look after yourself.
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#12
Hi Serena,

I think your handling of this situation is showing great maturity and understanding. If he's not going to GA meetings, I stongly suggest he does. At the meeting I attend on a regular basis, we have all become like family, we all help each other through think and thin, talk about real life issues, not just about gambling, since gambling can be an outlet to mask underlying issues, it certainly was for me.

Wishing you both well

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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