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My daily diary
#1
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Day 35 and this is my first GA thread.

I've previously posted on the Gam Care website (part of my daily therapy) as did not appreciate GA had the ability to undertake a daily thread.

I've attended 9 GA meetings to date and changed my date 3 times, however 35days ago (6 meetings ago) something finally clicked and I accepted that I'm powerless over gambling and this has me beat. On that very day I came completely clean to my partner of 22years and have been living one day at a time ever since, all barriers in place, and working with a daily programme. I've embraced "Just for today" and presently working on many character defects.

Unfortunately I've suffered with Mental Illness for over 16years now. Severe depression and anxiety issues plus I struggle with addiction (was gambling but I seem to have now reverted to food) to tackle many emotional issues. At this time I'm obtaining support and advice from a Counsellor as well as awaiting CBT.

Today has been a good day. School run, gym, discussed the revision to the plans of our new kitchen, and spent a hour reading GA threads, as well as 30mins in the chatroom.

My daily threads will continue from here on in using the GA forum, and hope this will continue to assist in my own recovery as well as give others support.
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#2
Welcome Adam...

Hope you keep sharing...

Look forward to seeing your progress...

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#3
Day 36.

Bit of a lazy day today but planning to be productive tomorrow.
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#4
Good to see you posting Adam9999

Keep up recovery tools and the positives...

jft smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

Reply
#5
Day 37.

Good day. Gym, away game at school (enjoyable hockey match and passed 3hours), and tea out.

Aiming to stay away from sport again tomorrow.
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#6
38days.

Kept away from sport all day today. Over 5weeks now without viewing any sports results. If honest didn't think it possible but once you admit that you're powerless and accept that you no longer need this in your life things get a lot easier. Passed time with family today, music lesson this morning, review of new kitchen plans this afternoon, and visited a number of sofa shops to look at a new sofa.

Whilst on face of it things have been good, I have been suffering with very low mood following issues with 1 x goods that have gone missing in the post (sent from USA) and now need to try to bottom out on Monday, and 1 x goods not sent and in which the seller is no longer contactable. Due to mental health issues do find it very difficult to cope when things go wrong at times.
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#7
39days.

Bit of a lazy day again, although did manage the gym and a family game. Had intended a bit of gardening however rained off and will attempt a few hours tomorrow instead.
Low mood again this morning as a result of postal issues as advised yesterday although contact was made by the US seller who advised hadn't sent as a result of a car accident. Whilst finding hard to believe this was accepted and promise received to send on Tuesday. Still have to chase other issue tomorrow, really hoping can be resolved without a lot of hassle.

Have managed to read both GA and Gamcare forums today. Total of one hour. Find it hard to understand why so many with similar days free of gambling under their belt continue to talk about issues and urges as not really having same. Maybe a result of not accepting and moving on? Just feel that this is imperative for all who are attempting a successful recovery. Would definitely recommend honesty, integrity, and acceptance to maintain an effective recovery.
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#8
40days.

No issues. Planned out budget for future, took 2hours. 2 postal deliveries and hoping issues that have been on my mind are sorted tomorrow.

Planned a full day of work in the garden tomorrow. Complete clean up for autumn plus begin looking at taking 2 trees down.
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#9
41days.

Great day in the garden. Few games of snooker. No urges. In a good place until visiting GA meeting tonight.
Left meeting at 9pm vowing never to return again. I have cut all sport viewing to aid my recovery which is working well definitely controlling urges, however of the 7 GA meetings attended 2 have now resulted in other (supposedly long time) members advising Ebor week (to which I had to lock myself away following this advice) and tonight the winner of the Leger (to which I had spent many hours avoiding this meeting, hard living in Doncaster). Then to through further insult to injury, 2 other members discussing football premier and championship leaders. A complete joke and an insult to someone that is avoiding this in their recovery. 

Extremely annoyed and angry!!!
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#10
Hear you Adam9999....

Glad you came in and shared in the chat room....

Keep reflecting on the positive lad...and speak to you soon...

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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