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My daily diary
#11
42days at close of play today.

Had chance to cool down from issues at meeting last night and have decided to go to another local meeting tonight (if possible) and raise my concerns about others discussing sporting events in the front of a number of people who are avoiding this as part of their recovery. An analogy would be if someone continually sticks a warm chocolate fudge cake in front of me this tempts me more and more to dive in.

Hopefully everyone will appreciate this but who knows.
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#12
Hi Adam,

It's early days for you, there is, and I guess will always be talk about sport in many facets of life, it's something we cannot really avoid wholly. What we can avoid it placing that first bet, and that's the primary purpose of the meetings. Try not to concentrate on the things that could be negative, as it can detract us from the reason we are there. Emotional reactions can certainly be enhanced in early recovery and in time the more you work at the program of recovery, you may find that what has made you angry yesterday won't even be an issue.

Wishing you well

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#13
I've got to be honest Simmo, I've attended GA meetings on and off for 20years now and each time stopped going as a result of opinions and other members behaviour in which I have found highly irritating at times. Please be aware not excuses to start again but just fed up from the same monotonous conversations coming from the same people time and time again, needing to hear their own voice and passing judgement on others because they have 9months, 1year, 2 and 3 years under their belts (supposedly) and believing they know it all. I can honestly count on one hand the number that appear to be living a true recovery i.e. the 12 step recovery programme. What you do hear however is that they've accepted step 1 and that's good enough for the time being. Whilst appreciate everyone works at their own pace - come on. Then alongside the problems I experienced, long time members advised last night that you can't truly say you've accepted step 1 until you've been coming for sometime (yes believe it or not). And so now we have a scenario that until you have months and months under your belt (served your apprenticeship) you can't even begin to advise of step 1. An example being given of why aren't there more people attending with 5, 10, 15, 20years under their belt. Perhaps as a result of not accepting step1 as suggested. Or perhaps because of what I've noted above?

I hear what you say about this is your recovery but for me the respect in a meeting operates two ways. It was even revealed last night that discussions on WhatsApp (which I won't attend) have at times gone in to chats about sport (football teams winning leagues). One member raising the point that this should not be being discussed as should be seen as a temptation to delve further, and not assisting in a person's recovery.

Got to be honest, last night did me again, just like all the other times.
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#14
Are you going to let the thoughts, opinions and actions of others affect your recovery? Whether someone else has accepted step 1 or not, or whether they are working the 12 steps properly is their journey and something that certainly falls into the category of "Accept the things you cannot change" in the serenity prayer.

I too hear many times people reluctant to work the steps, that's their choice, but for me, abstinence isn't enough, I'm working the program for me, and I will help others through too, but I cannot and will not expect anyone else to do it. The primary purpose for me going to a meeting is to help the newcomer, and to share my experience strength and hope in recovery.

Keep going, and keep posting.

One day at a time

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#15
Hear what you say Simmo but surely individual meetings acting autonomously (fellowship or not) to the group and not following rules or being answerable (unaudited) is a worry. What direct impact on new members (positive/negative)?Whilst providing belief and a feeling of responsibility to the existing member at what cost to the Newby? Easy to say that the ones who attend for only 1 or 2 weeks weren't ready. However do we really understand the impact a bad opinion or two or even three has had on that person?

Feel for the time being I'll still attend but only in body (just listen) as I do not want any further advice given in my direction or to participate in discussion. A position which I'll make clear to the chairperson.
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#16
42days.

Last night seems bit of a distant memory following relaxing day. School run x 2, caught up on sky planner, and made tea, plus cleared pots away. Overseen homework and now relaxing prior to watching TV and bed.

Decided to give another GA meeting tonight a miss, decided I have nothing to prove. Will leave meeting until next week in which I'll hope to blend in to the background. No longer willing to discuss me with the group as if anything this has a negative rather than positive impact. Things may change but for now I'm happy the decision.
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#17
Hello Adam9999, I'm sorry to hear that one aspect of your local meeting isn't to your liking , but this is part of everyday life. You will hear things that you don't necessarily agree with, but as this is your recovery, please don't be put off the group and potentially suffer because of it. If I can use my own experience, I am part of a steps meeting that is separate from our main meeting, and we often discuss steps 1, 2 and 3. I don't necessarily agree with others opinions and I'm sure they don't agree with mine, but we are taught to be open minded and listen to others. By actually thinking and talking ideas through and listening to ideas different than my own I'm expanding my own recovery. I might not agree but I have the patience to get through the bit I disagree with and enjoy the rest of the meeting.
In the past I stopped attending meetings because of my immaturity because I wasn't part of the clique that formed or didn't like how the meetings were run and guess what? I went back to the misery of gambling.
Once you get to 90 days you can volunteer to chair the meeting so you can run it your way or you can call a business meeting if you aren't happy with how certain things are in your meeting and discuss those points outside of the actual meeting. Alternatively, you could attend a different meeting. A few years ago, after I left a group because of my own pettiness and went back to gambling, once I accepted step 1 again I found another meeting 45 minutes away and loved every minute of it. The drive gave me time to think and the meeting was exactly what I was looking for. I abstained for three years then.
I just urge you to do anything other than miss meetings. Good luck.
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
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#18
43days.

Filled the day well and undertook a fair amount of gardening. Parents evening at school and just back.

Feel I  need to get to the gym tomorrow. 

Having many thoughts of not attending local GA meeting in future and doing this myself. Just feel that I don't need similar situations arising, makes a mockery of avoiding all things sport related when being dragged back in via discussions at a GA meeting of all things. May call in and have a chat with one of the regular chairs of the meeting tomorrow who did not attend the other night just to see whether he can pull me around. Hear what Chris B advised earlier and appreciate the response, will take onboard as part of decision process.
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#19
44days.

Gym, and watched school hockey game. Bit of work in the house. Aiming to stay away from all sport tomorrow.
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#20
45days.

Music lessons this morning. Family games before lunch, and just back from gym. Filled the day quite well. Just about to watch a newly released DVD which will pass 2 hours (with bag of crisps). Another Saturday absent of watching sport.
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