Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
46 Years And Lost It All
#1
I began gambling at about 17 Years of age. I first found it at a work function that was held at a club. I am also an alcoholic and went into black outs and had no control at all. I over time would gamble on near anything possible often loosing all my pay in a night. Once my savings ran out I ran up 2 credit cards. I then having large amounts of money in job I worked resorted to illegal ways to feed my addiction.  This very quickly caught up on me. My job and drivers licence were gone. I gained a criminal record and a pile of debt. I moved to stay with my brother and sister in law.  For a short time I did not drink. As I had large debt my gambling almost stoped but my drinking was to continue. I drifted in and out of employment. I found AA But did not stop drinking. 18 months time I moved again, to the city. I had my debt paid off and found employment and my gambling started again. At 34 years of age I was to be married. I had a period of sobriety from alcohol. 3 months into the marriage I drank on and off, ending with a huge bender. I remain sober to today. My last drink 23 rd December 1989. I had steady employment and was earning good money working shift work and weekends. My wife also worked so money was plentiful.  She liked to have a small play on poker machines.  My gambling was on again. I did keep household bills etc paid. I then found the casino and this was very addictive. After a time I stoped gambling for a number of years. My wife became ill. I gave up work to care for her. I discovered share trading. I was hooked and I was pure gambling. Often with success. However I had so many accounts I lost track, forgot passwords,  and often had accounts blocked by traders as I was too successful. I then began online casinos. I lost my savings and my superannuation. I returned to work after my wife passed away. The job did not last. My health was not so good. I was put on government benefit. I had to declare bankrupt.  My gambling was to continue . Eventuly after many failures I have remained gamble free. As of 3 rd December 2018 I am 90 days clean. I have 6 addictions. 4 I am recovering from. 2 to go. I trust we may trudge the road to a happy destiny together,  and you can know of the freedom and happiness I know. I have attached some GA meetings. I use forums and online help such as this. I also draw on my AA sobriety and experience for strength.  Your Friend John.
Reply
#2
Hi John B,

Thank you so much for sharing, and welcome to the forum. Cross addiction is a real possibility and I've met quite a few people that are in AA but are actively gambling. No matter how long someone has been gambling for, there is hope, and you are proving that right now, well done for 90 days.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
Reply
#3
bump...
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

Reply
#4
Hi
Thank for your sharing your vulnerability with us.
In time by healing the hurt inner child I no longer have to escape to unhealthy addictions or unhealthy obsessions.
For me the recovery program is about healing my pains.
My anger indicated to me that my inner child was not healed.
My fears indicated to me that my inner child was not healed.
My fears reduced, my trust grew, I was able to interact with people I use to fear.
I overcame my fears of emotional intimacy.
I am growing to be a person I like today.
Each time I went back to my unhealthy addictions or my unhealthy obsessions indicated I needed to do more work on myself and understand more about my emotional triggers.
Thank you again.
regards Dave
Reply
#5
(03-12-2018, 05:56 AM)John B Wrote: I began gambling at about 17 Years of age. I first found it at a work function that was held at a club. I am also an alcoholic and went into black outs and had no control at all. I over time would gamble on near anything possible often loosing all my pay in a night. Once my savings ran out I ran up 2 credit cards. I then having large amounts of money in job I worked resorted to illegal ways to feed my addiction.  This very quickly caught up on me. My job and drivers licence were gone. I gained a criminal record and a pile of debt. I moved to stay with my brother and sister in law.  For a short time I did not drink. As I had large debt my gambling almost stoped but my drinking was to continue. I drifted in and out of employment. I found AA But did not stop drinking. 18 months time I moved again, to the city. I had my debt paid off and found employment and my gambling started again. At 34 years of age I was to be married. I had a period of sobriety from alcohol. 3 months into the marriage I drank on and off, ending with a huge bender. I remain sober to today. My last drink 23 rd December 1989. I had steady employment and was earning good money working shift work and weekends. My wife also worked so money was plentiful.  She liked to have a small play on poker machines.  My gambling was on again. I did keep household bills etc paid. I then found the casino and this was very addictive. After a time I stoped gambling for a number of years. My wife became ill. I gave up work to care for her. I discovered share trading. I was hooked and I was pure gambling. Often with success. However I had so many accounts I lost track, forgot passwords,  and often had accounts blocked by traders as I was too successful. I then began online casinos. I lost my savings and my superannuation. I returned to work after my wife passed away. The job did not last. My health was not so good. I was put on government benefit. I had to declare bankrupt.  My gambling was to continue . Eventuly after many failures I have remained gamble free. As of 3 rd December 2018 I am 90 days clean. I have 6 addictions. 4 I am recovering from. 2 to go. I trust we may trudge the road to a happy destiny together,  and you can know of the freedom and happiness I know. I have attached some GA meetings. I use forums and online help such as this. I also draw on my AA sobriety and experience for strength.  Your Friend John.

Hi

For me my addictions and obsessions indicated to me that my hurt inner child was not healed yet.

My addictions and obsessions were a way of me escaping people life and situations I could not cope with.

Any clean time in the recovery can be lost, it is only the days I was in action that I Lost.

Going back to my addictions and obsessions helped me understand that I was not healed and not whole.

For me the recovery program is about healing the pains that were in me from many unhealthy experiences that caused fears in me that I did not understand.

The recovery program gives me more options, and healthier paths in my life today.

The recovery program did not stop me gambling, that had to be my own choice.

The recovery program did not stop me being angry that had to be my own choice.

The recovery program was only a manual for me to learn from.

Lover and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)