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Breaking Pattern
#21
I don't know what the day is any more. 7-8. I fancied putting a bet on but didn't. It is very sad today. I got scammed trying to sell things online. I think this is partly why I try to gamble instead. I actually don't think I am able to make money honestly. Not because of lack of willingness or readiness to do it. It is like the world does not want me to and then blames me for not being able to. I am sick and tired of it. I want to go to a lawyer tomorrow as I am tired of being taken advantage of. I will probably back out of that too. I feel very useless. I see why official channels exist though. I am more likely to avoid them due to mental wellbeing. This outs me at risk unaware when I would not like to be. Anyway I am tired of the world today.
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#22
Have you considered counselling? Maybe try gamcare? I know it's how you may be feeling now, but get back up, keep fighting, the world really isn't against us all.


Wishing you well

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#23
I think it is day 8

I'm pretty bored and restless and want to escape. Gambling crossed my mind.
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#24
Day 18. Hitting a block.

Basically my favourite football team has some matches coming up and some bets I know are likely to win against them I want to place for emotional insurance.

I think that is the main reason I started gambling. I remember as a kid wanting to put xx pounds on the opposite team who kept winning because supporting a losing team all the time was emotionally upsetting and I wanted some reward.
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#25
9th December 2018

20:47: No gambling 90 days

Day 0 Completed

---

2nd January 2019

23:04: No gambling 90 days

Day 24 Completed
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#26
Hi Furious, keep moving forward, one day at a time.

In Unity

Simmo
One day at a time.  My last bet was 15/03/2016 and I hope and pray each day that it stays that way.
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#27
Day 25

I think about my gambling losses and how I should have bought a car. I think about my second big loss and how I should have bought a laptop.

Things to help me invest in myself in another pursuit.

Very depressed. Don't want any outside help.

Nothing works.
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#28
furious, i used to think like you...maybe at times i still do, but i know i'm not an island....i need help at times...

not easy though my friend and recovery often takes time which as an addict i never had...

maybe the biggest gift i give to myself is patience....

patience to give myself a break...

patience to accept the help offered and keep accepting it...

patience though is a fickle friend...

often needs feeding with honesty....which again is difficult...



cheers for sharing furious....

Smartie xx
Meetings help, but meetings are only a small part to how GA works....

GA is a 12 step organisation that offers the program that keeps me in recovery...

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#29
Furious, the experience of those who have been through what you are currently going through and have emerged successful thanks to GA and other help can be a great teacher. Why not take advantage of that experience because if there is one thing that is certain, it is that self pity never helped anything. There is help available and its up to you to grab hold and not let go. LewB
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#30
Day 26

Frustrated at other life events so the no gambling thing seems kind of pointless in comparison
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