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Abstaining isn't enough
#1
If nothing changes then nothing changes. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. These are just two examples of sayings that a lot of compulsive gamblers should be able to identify with. 
It is quite a simple formula for abstaining from gambling. Attend a meeting regularly, give over your money, don't visit gambling establishments, physical or virtual, be accountable to another person for your time. Do those things and you should stay off gambling.BUT, what happens when you are faced with a situation that might take you back to gambling to escape dealing with it? It could be stress at work, money issues, sometimes just the fact it's raining! Our addiction will find any way to get you back at it.

Long term recovery, not just abstinence, comes from change within. Looking at ourselves, finding our triggers, getting rid of as much fuel for the flame of addiction as possible.
Now this isn't easy as it means admitting we have flaws much deeper than just gambling, but it is worth the work if it helps keep addiction at bay, at the same time helping us become better people.
If you are able to attend a Steps meeting or group I would recommend it. It might be a meeting with a counsellor but in my experience it helps if someone has experienced what you're talking about.


So that's my post. If all you do is attend meetings, what happens when you stop attending? My experience was I relapsed. I hope you're different but if you're like me, give a change program a go.
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
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#2
Chris B

Excellent post, really enjoyed reading it.

In Unity
Martin
My name is Martin, I am a compulsive gambler, my last bet was 29.9.2017. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things that I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
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#3
Thank you. Maybe there's others who have done more than just stopped gambling and they could share what they've done and how it's helped?
How do I stop gambling?

Honesty.
Open-minded.
Willingness.


Chris.
Reply
#4
(20-03-2019, 06:33 PM)Chris_b Wrote: If nothing changes then nothing changes. If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got. These are just two examples of sayings that a lot of compulsive gamblers should be able to identify with. 
It is quite a simple formula for abstaining from gambling. Attend a meeting regularly, give over your money, don't visit gambling establishments, physical or virtual, be accountable to another person for your time. Do those things and you should stay off gambling.BUT, what happens when you are faced with a situation that might take you back to gambling to escape dealing with it? It could be stress at work, money issues, sometimes just the fact it's raining! Our addiction will find any way to get you back at it.

Long term recovery, not just abstinence, comes from change within. Looking at ourselves, finding our triggers, getting rid of as much fuel for the flame of addiction as possible.
Now this isn't easy as it means admitting we have flaws much deeper than just gambling, but it is worth the work if it helps keep addiction at bay, at the same time helping us become better people.
If you are able to attend a Steps meeting or group I would recommend it. It might be a meeting with a counsellor but in my experience it helps if someone has experienced what you're talking about.


So that's my post. If all you do is attend meetings, what happens when you stop attending? My experience was I relapsed. I hope you're different but if you're like me, give a change program a go.
Hi

The recovery program helps us heal from our pains.
Just for today I will not gamble means we are not willing to hurt our self or others.
Abstaining means that we stop escaping in any way and understand our emotional triggers we can face our feelings and deal with things in a healthier way.
My emotional triggers were pain fear frustrations (these 3 being anger).
My emotional triggers were loneliness and boredom.
My frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations.
By me being frustrated I was in effect hurting myself and causing myself pain not once but time and time again.
My emotional frustrations were covered by the serenity prayer even though I am a non religious person.

I am not able to change other people in any way, yet I am able to change my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations.
Once I abstained, then I started to move on talking about money and being action I talked about how I dealt with people life and situations today in a healthy way.
I understand that today I am not the same person I was from day one in my recovery hence I no longer feel guilty or ashamed.
When you exchange unhealthy habits you change how you feel with in your self.
Regret shame guilt are replaced with pride.
By humbling myself I become an equal to all people.
I place no importance in when my last bet was, the most important thing today is am I being healthy.
Boredom is replaced with healthy activity and productivity in so many ways.
Just by abstaining was not enough I needed to fill my time with healthy activities.
To write to read to get things done on my lists.
It was important to write down my needs my wants and even start to reach goals one day at time.
Shirley my wife and I exceeded our goals yesterday doing some thing we had never done before.
It was very powerful and exciting.
I use to be such an unhealthy person and I used to waste time and money.
I did not value myself or others.
That has changed I have changed to being healthy today.
Love and peace to every one.

Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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