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Why fear being Honest
#1
Hi

Each time I lied I went against my own conscience more fears grew in me.

Why fear being Honest.

As a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it by physical abuse, emotional abuse, or redicule.

I also feared being honest because I feared being rejected or being abandoned.

How could I come to not fear being honest and feeling emotionally vulnerable.

When I walked in to the recovery program who did I fear facing the most, myself.

Over time I would understand that I was not an evil person, I was not dumb or stupid, I was not a bad person.

Yet I would not be honest to myself about the twenty questions.

The recovery program helped me over come my fears, helped me get honest with myself.

The twenty questions never changed but my answers did change and more so in understanding the depth of each question.

The recovery program helped me open up and not live in so many fears.

The recovery program helped me understand no one was going to fix me or heal me that would be my choice.

I am a non religious and today I understand that when I walked in to the recovery program I was emotionally traumatized, not just because of self abuse in my addictions and my obsessions but more importantly heal from the abuse I suffered as a child.

Dysfunctional insecure people want to keep secrets and lies, a healthy family wants an open honest interactions with all people.

Dysfunctional insecure people will justify causing pain to other people.  

Dysfunctional people are unable to be healthy and free from the pains of their past.

I am a non religious person, yet I am a healthier spiritual person.

The longer I was the recovery program my fears dropped and my trust grew.

The longer I was the recovery program the healthier I got.

The rewards for being a much healthier spiritual person is pride in oneself.

Am I honest to myself today.

Am I accountable to myself today.

When I am honest to myself I am able to apologize if I adversely affect another person.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
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#2
(18-07-2019, 05:08 PM)gadaveuk Wrote: Hi

Each time I lied I went against my own conscience more fears grew in me.

Why fear being Honest.

As a child when ever I was honest I was punished for it by physical abuse, emotional abuse, or redicule.

I also feared being honest because I feared being rejected or being abandoned.

Am I accountable to myself today.

When I am honest to myself I am able to apologize if I adversely affect another person.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

Hi

Am I accountable to myself today.

When I am honest to myself I am improving the relationship I have with myself.

When I am honest to myself I am more mature, I live in less fear.

Recovery is a slow healing process.

If I am not willing to admit to myself I am in pain I am not able to heal that pain.

Only I can take my recovery seriously.

Only I can stop myself from being unhealthy.

IT is a very conscious decision how much do I want to be healthy today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
Reply
#3
Hi

Only when I am honest with myself can I be healthy to other people.

In being honest I do not need to adversely affect other people.

With each lie and with each deception comes fears.

I do not feel that living in fear is healthy for me or any one else today.

Fear disabled me in so many ways, fear of failure so why try.

Fear of rejection.

Fear of not being accepted for who I am today.

Fear of success.

Fear of emotional intimacy.

The ideal situation is to be completely emotionally disconnected from addiction and obsessions.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
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