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Understanding my emotional triggers pains fear frustrations loneliness and boredom

By understanding my emotional triggers of my pains fears frustrations loneliness and boredom.

Each time I went back to my addiction was a lesson if I was willing to learn from them.

I am non religious and yet I do embrace spiritual values.

Each time I escape from people life and situations I get weaker and weaker.

The recovery program was a place where my healing would start if I was willing to heal from the pains of my past.

With each lie comes more fears.

The recovery program was a place where I would become aware of how emotionally vulnerable I was.

Every time I worked for my money and the gave it away or though it away I was causing myself more and more pain.

Some how thinking that money would heal my suffering.

I was like a rat in a wheel going faster an faster getting no where I was wasting time money and relationships.

The addictions and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was very emotionally vulnerable.

Only when I admitted to myself that I was being very unhealthy could I change from my self destructive path in life.

No one could convince I was unhealthy.

No one could stop me gambling.

No one could stop me from me hurting myself.

I was with out faith and hope in myself.

Each time I said to myself oh who cares any way, I was giving up all faith and hope in myself.

The recovery program was a place where I would see and feel myself in other people.

My unhealthy reactions to people life and situations indicated how much pain I was burying and suppressing in myself.

The last date I gambled is less and less important.

It is how healthy I was today that counts.

Were my actions and my words healthy towards myself and healthy towards other people.

Today I am not alone.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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