First Post

[Rgray345]

Hi,

Admitting you have a gambling problem seems to be the hardest thing to do. There’s such a stigma around it and so much shame. 

It started for me around 6 years ago, an ex boyfriend showed me how to play slots online and it soon became a habit. 

I’m sure many other people here have a similar story.....it starts out just a small amount for fun then you get a big win! Then you think you will win again so keep depositing money then end up cancelling the withdrawal of the big win. 

Once again I get paid and within 24 hours £X is gone. Now I have no way to pay my bills. 

My boyfriend knows about my gambling and in the past has has to bail me out and pay my bills. He also knows I have £X worth of debts due to this and helps me financially. 

I didn’t want to admit to him I had done it again, I was so ashamed and at my lowest point so thought ending my life was the only way out. I broke down and told him how I felt and what I had done thinking He would leave me. He has stood by me and once again said he would sort out the money. 

I feel so ashamed and so stupid. I have a good job and a house and a lovely puppy and loving boyfriend and I can’t explain why I do it! I always think it’s because of the money but it never is because no win is ever big enough: 

I’m sure I’m not the only person who has tried to hide my habit or lied to people about why I need to borrow money or made excuses for why I have so much debt. 

This has to be the end of it as I cannot do this anymore. 

I just needed to put this down in writing and admit that I have a problem. 

Rebecca

[Simmo]

Hi Rebecca,

Welcome to the forum and well done for sharing.

From my experience, the same pattern may happen again and again unless action is taken to change the script.

Please take a look at the meetings section to find your local meeting, and I strongly suggest reading "towards the first 90 days" in the literature section.

In Unity

Simmo

[LewB]

Hello Rebecca Admitting that you are powerless over gambling and that your life is unmanageable is the first step in our recovery program. Now its time to check out the other 11 steps and start on the journey of recovery. As Simmo says, that can only be done by attending a physical Gamblers Anonymous meeting. Meetings all over England. Find your local one and just show up. No reservations needed. Only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling completely. Join us. Your life will get better as you work the recovery program. Thats guaranteed. Wish you the best on your journey. LewB-Woodbury Monday Night

[gadaveuk]

Hi,

Admitting you have a gambling problem seems to be the hardest thing to do. There’s such a stigma around it and so much shame. 

It started for me around 6 years ago, an ex boyfriend showed me how to play slots online and it soon became a habit. 

I’m sure many other people here have a similar story.....it starts out just a small amount for fun then you get a big win! Then you think you will win again so keep depositing money then end up cancelling the withdrawal of the big win. 

Once again I get paid and within 24 hours £X is gone. Now I have no way to pay my bills. 

My boyfriend knows about my gambling and in the past has has to bail me out and pay my bills. He also knows I have £X worth of debts due to this and helps me financially. 

I didn’t want to admit to him I had done it again, I was so ashamed and at my lowest point so thought ending my life was the only way out. I broke down and told him how I felt and what I had done thinking He would leave me. He has stood by me and once again said he would sort out the money. 

I feel so ashamed and so stupid. I have a good job and a house and a lovely puppy and loving boyfriend and I can’t explain why I do it! I always think it’s because of the money but it never is because no win is ever big enough: 

I’m sure I’m not the only person who has tried to hide my habit or lied to people about why I need to borrow money or made excuses for why I have so much debt. 

This has to be the end of it as I cannot do this anymore. 

I just needed to put this down in writing and admit that I have a problem. 

Rebecca

Hi Rebecca

If you are willing and able to attend meetings you find you are among people who can relate to you and your experiences.

You will find out that you are not alone and can open up and let of the fear guilt and shame be replaced with trust and understanding.

I am a non religious person and use to react to the mention of god or religion.

The recovery program is a spiritual recovery and healing process.

The more you put in to your recovery the greater the benefits you will experience.

It was not enough just to abstain and I could not do it on my own.

Before the recovery program I did not understand how much potential I had in me.

I use to say to myself oh who cares any one, at that instant I was giving up all faith and hope in myself.

The more I gambled the more self abuse I was causing myself.

I felt that if I lied people would not leave me for causing them  pain.

I even tried to take my life as a teenager and blanked it all out.

I suffered all kinds of abuse in my child hood.

The first day I walked in to the recovery program I did not know or understand that I was a survivor yet had certain emotional triggers where I would escape people life and situations because I felt emotionally vulnerable.

The recovery program is not about who is right or wrong, or who is good or bad, the recovery program is understanding what is healthy or unhealthy.

The recovery program helped me exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

I have been in recovery since 1969 and every meeting have given me an asset I can learn from.

In the recovery program we are all equals.

It becomes easier life and our steel will be tested yet we keep clean just one day at a time.

Thank you for open sharing well done.

Love and peace to every one 

Dave L AKA 

AKA Dave of Beckenham