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What is my emotional age today and what is my physical age today

When I walked in to the recovery I did not have a clue how unhealthy I was.

I questioned if the recovery program would fix me.

I questioned if I was non religious would I ever become healthy.

I felt that gambling controlled my life.

That was not true, gambling was a way of me escaping people life and situations when I was emotionally vulnerable.

In my life I suffered lots of abuse trauma and pain and my inner child could not heal.

The recovery program is a way of finding a healthy life with out pain and fear hindering us.

The recovery program is a collection of vulnerable people who want to get healthy.

The recovery program helped me understand my emotional triggers.

The recovery program helped me become emotionally detached from all feelings towards gambling and my addictions.

Some times people enter the recovery program abstain from one unhealthy habits and will swap to another unhealthy habit or obsession.

The recovery program helped me that the person I feared facing the most was myself.

The recovery program helped me get motivated in healthy ways.

The recovery program helped me replace guilt shame regret remorse with pride in myself.

So today is my emotional age closer to to my physical age.

So today do I fear emotional intimacy.

Just for today I will not gamble, yet how much more can I do with my life today.

Do I live in any kind of fear today, if so what am I willing to do about it.

To reduce my fears I needed to take my biggest fear first of all.

With my biggest fear I need to ask myself what is the very worst that can happen if this fear happens.

I need to face all the possibilities.

Only when I am willing to face all of the possibilities of the worst that can happen my fear reduces.

Most of my fears were ten out of ten.

Today I do not have a fear greater than three.

There was fear of rejection, there was fear of failure, there was fear of humiliation, there was fear of emotional intimacy, there was fear of the dentist, there was fear of dying, there was fear of not being good enough, there was fear of the opposite sex, there was fear of not being able to reach peoples expectations of me, there was fear of being emotionally vulnerable, there was fear of losing my job, there was fear of being alone.

With each fear reducing the possibilities of becoming healthy grew.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.

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