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At what point in my recovery did the text and the therapies help me change.

I understand that when I arrived in the recovery program I was emotionally vulnerable.

I even felt that gambling controlled my life.

I understand today that the addictions and obsessions were the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable long before addictions and obsessions came in to play.

I understand today that I did the addictions and obsessions to escape deviate facing myself escape facing myself and other people.

I use to make promises I could not keep.

I am a non religious and yet today I embrace spiritual values in to my life.

I lived a facade, I put on masks to hide what was really going on with in me.

Just because I read the text I did not understand that I had become my own worst enemy.

The rate of my recovery would be determined on how selfish I could become in my recovery.

The recovery program was a collection of healthy goal setting and like minded people who would help me understand my emotional triggers.

The reason I would lie was because I thought that being honest would be painful.

I have count of the number of beatings I have experienced earlier in my life.

I have count of the number of times I was both physically and emotionally abandoned.

I have count of the number of times I was willing to give up all faith and hope in myself.

I have taken far to long to get selfish about my recovery.

Some very helpful healthy people have helped me achieve so much more with my life today.

The money was only the fuel for my addictions and my obsessions.

How much more do I want to achieve with my life and my time today.

My rate of recovery was very much tied to me giving therapies on a regular basis.

The only person I feared facing the most was myself.

Do I think that people will believe that it has been over twenty six years since my last bet.

Why did it take me over twenty years to get started in my recovery.

Abstaining on its own was not recovery for me.

Only when I was abstaining could the healing process start.

By me abstaining I was stopping over time causing myself and others pain.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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