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Just for today I choose not to gamble and not make things worse
#1
Hi

Just for today I will not to gamble is a boundary I set for myself.

I will not to gamble because when I gambled I just made things much worse.

At the beginning I did not go to meetings for myself I did it for some one else.

Only when I went to meetings was I willing and bale to give up my unhealthy habits.

I am a non religious person yet I have been able to not only abstain from my addictions but I have been able to achieve so much more with my life.

When I abstained from my addictions and my unhealthy habits only then could the healing process start.

For every unhealthy habit I gave up I was able to take up healthy habits. 

The spiritual recovery program was a program for me to heal with, it was going to help me take back my life.

My unhealthy addictions my unhealthy obsessions and my unhealthy habits were the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable.

Understanding my emotional triggers would help me not react in unhealthy ways but to interact in healthy ways.

I was emotionally vulnerable because I could not heal my pains.

I was emotionally vulnerable because I lived in so many fears.

I was emotionally vulnerable because I got so frustrated with people life and situations. 

I was emotionally vulnerable because I felt vulnerable when I was all alone.

I was emotionally vulnerable because I felt so bored with life and could not be productive in myself in so many ways.

I was emotionally vulnerable when it was Christmas.

I was emotionally vulnerable when it was Tax time.

I was emotionally vulnerable when I was going to the dentist.

I lacked confidence, I lacked the ability to have intimate relationships.

I was emotionally vulnerable when I was asked questions.

I no longer wanted to live my life in fear any more.

I no longer wanted to procrastinate and waste time and my energy.

No matter if I gambled it was important to keep going to meetings.

The wording I have to indicated I was obsessive.

In the spiritual recovery program I would learn what was a want and write them down.

In the spiritual recovery program I would learn what was a need and write them down.

To daily write things down I am committed to myself.

By saying just for today I am committed to living in today, to not let my fear hold me back.

Before my recovery I use to think that recovery was about perfection.

For me today my recovery is about progress in any way healthy.  

No one could stop me gambling, no one could stop me lying, no one could stop me from living in fear.

The spiritual recovery program is very much mountain climbers learn new safe skills when facing new challenges.

The spiritual recovery program healthy groups will be nurturing and encouraging.

The spiritual recovery program helped me learn new healthy skills in dealing with people life and situations.

I use to blame every one and every thing for how I use to feel.

When I lost things I use to think it was not my fault.

Being in the spiritual recovery program I would become more accountable to myself.

My emotional age and my physical age were not the same.

Being in the spiritual recovery program I feel like we work like a team, we find new goals and new challenges.

Being in a healthy meeting we feel like we are family and we can talk about any thing.

I did not know that walking in to the spiritual recovery program I was already a survivor of very serious painful experiences.

I have from feeling like I was a complete waste of time and energy  to becoming worth while in myself every day.

No matter what happens today the last thing I want to do is gamble.

I do that if I gamble I just make things much worse.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham
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