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Just for today I will not gamble is a way of me not making things worse

Just for today I will not gamble is a boundary that I set up for myself.

I know that if I were to gamble I would make things much worse in my life.

On walking in to the recovery program I thought that I would be the last person on this planet to stop gambling.

The gambling and obsessions were just the symptoms that I was very emotionally vulnerable.

In recovery I would learn what my emotional triggers were.

In recovery I would learn to exchange every unhealthy habit in to healthy habits. 

I do much more than abstain from my addictions and abstain from my obsessions.

Being a very emotionally vulnerable person I lived my life in self doubt, because of my past I did not value myself or values other people.

The rage and anger with in me indicated that my hurt inner child was not healed.

On walking in to the spiritual recovery program I did not fully understand how immature I was, my sulking was the feelings of a child not getting what he wanted.

Today I understand that my emotional age and my physical age do not match up.

The wording dysfunctional confused what could that be.

Today I understand that dysfunctional behavior is blaming and escaping responsibility for my own actions and my own words.

Dysfunctional behavior is very unhealthy, for me dysfunctional meant people could not work as a team, dysfunctional meant people were unable 
to interact in healthy spiritual ways.

In my time it would be up to me to take responsibility for my unhealthy habits.

The recovery could not stop me gambling that had to be my own choice.

The recovery would help me share myself in therapies and over time I would move on from my past after dealing with it.

The healthy people in the recovery problem would help me understand what was healthy and what was  unhealthy.

The rewards for being a healthy person is pride in ones self, I would be able to validate myself,  I would be able to compliment myself,  I would be able to be nurturing and encouraging towards myself.

The recovery program would help me help myself.

I understand my needs today, I understand my wants today, I understand my goals today.

I am not  willing to give up faith or hope in myself today.

I am not  willing to hurt myself or other people today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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