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In my recovery I am getting healthier yet I am non religious

Today I understand that my addictions and my obsessions were only the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable. 

Today I understand that every pain in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand or know how to deal with.

I am a non religious person yet I am becoming more and more spiritual.

My conscience was based up on spiritual values and my conscience caused me to feel pains I inflicted up on myself and other people.

During my unhealthy period I would say and do some very unhealthy things, and would justify my unhealthy habits.

I was very confused during my unhealthy period because I use to think that my adrenaline rush was happiness and exciting.

I would refer to my highs and my lows think that was different levels of happiness.

When in action I was avoiding facing myself and my feelings.

During my unhealthy period I would be juggling so may fears that when another fear came to my mind I would go in to panic mode.

Going in to panic mode only indicated how much fear I was already burying and hiding facing. 

The spiritual recovery program was a healing program for me to heal from, if I was not willing to admit my pains to myself could I heal them.

There were many sayings that confused me on hearing them.

I could not love another person until I loved myself.

I could not respect another person until I respect myself.

I could not be honourable to another person until I could not be honourable to myself.

I could not be tolerant and patient with another person until I could not be tolerant and patient with  myself.

To be self sufficient I needed to write down my needs, my wants and start to set goals in my life.

By writing down my lists is me being accountable to myself.

To be a healthy person I needed to humble myself to the honesty about myself.

In open therapies I would see and feel myself in other people.

Both the healthy and the unhealthy.

I see the spiritual recovery program very much like mountain climbers, that by being tied together we learn and experience safely healthier ways in our life.   

In open therapies we are tied together by our honesty at every level.

In my recovery I am getting healthier each day yet I am still a non religious person.

I did not fully understand how the experiences of my life stunted me in so many ways I did not understand.

By healing my inner child, by living life with out fear, by being healthier there is so much more I can do with my life today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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