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Recovery was a healing process which helped me give up so many unhealthy habits
#1
Hi

Why do I stick with the recovery program if I have not gambled for some time.

The healthy people in the recovery program helped me see that I was not a bad person, that I was not an evil person, that I was not a stupid person, the reason I Gambled was because I was an emotionally vulnerable person.

I am a non religious person and any one who wants to can not only heal that hurt inner child but can become more content can become a person with reduced fears, can become a person with healthy communication skills.

I was a very rebellious person, my motives were unhealthy, I was a very mistrusting person, I was a very lonely person, I was a very inadequate person, I use to fear emotional intimacy, I was not able to articulate my feelings and my emotions, I put up a facade and pretence to hide the hurt inner child in me.

No one could stop me gambling, no one could force me to do the recovery program, no one could take my pains away, no one could stop me being the victim, no one could stop me being the perpetrator, no one could stop me from living in my many fears.

The more I got in to my addictions and my obsessions the harder it was for me to heal and come out of my shell built on many fears.

Any one who can become committed towards the recovery program can make huge changes to their life with out addictions and obsessions.

One question I asked my wife was what was Love, she told me it was giving of your self unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.

I use to say that I loved gambling was that true.

I found out that my addictions and my obsessions were ways of escaping life people and situations.

For me to love was all about healthy interactions with a living person or creature, it is not possible for me to have a healthy interaction with money or material things.

No  amount of money would stop me Gambling, in fact sudden money would cause me to self destruct.

I use to think that laughter was happiness, in time I found out that inner happiness is about complete contentment with in myself.

To be content with who I am today.

To be content with who I am with today.

To be content with where I am with today.

To be content with what I have today.

I use to rush through life and not enjoy it.

My risk taking was an unhealthy habit.

My speeding was an unhealthy habit.

My reactions to people life and situations were very unhealthy.

My impatience and intolerance indicated how hard I was on myself.

I could not compliment myself, I could not validate myself, I could not love myself.

The recovery program was far beyond giving up my addictions and my obsessions.

The recovery program was about healing inwards with in myself.

How much do I value myself today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckeham
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#2
well said.
My last bet was 14th December 2017. I owe GA my life, for saving mine from misery and financial ruin.
Just for today, I will not gamble. And when I wake tomorrow, I will make that same promise to not gamble, just for today.
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#3
(20-05-2020, 02:31 PM)StrengthToStop Wrote: well said.

Hi 

Being Committed and dedicated to our own recovery is very healthy.

Living just for today is empowering.

To not live in the pains of our past.

To not live in fear of our tommorrows.

Thank you

Dave L
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