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No matter what keep going to meetings they are life savers

Sadly it took me long time to understand that the gambling the drink and obsessions were not my problem, I was the problem.

There is often the wording that addicts are selfish people, for me that is not true, for me being an addict I was self destructive.

The truth was I was emotionally vulnerable and over time I would not only learn and understand what my emotional triggers were but I would deal with life people and situations in much healthier ways.

I am a non religious and questioned if being a non religious could I heal my hurt inner child and become a much healthier person.

The gambling establishments did not make me do or say any thing I did not want to do.

The healthy people in the recovery program could not make me do any thing I did not want to do.

No matter when my last bet was keep going to meetings.

I found that certain meetings were healthy for me, the people in the ehalthy rooms were not bullies, they did not try to control me they in fact were nurturing and encouraging with me.

My recovery started once I moved from talking about money and gambling and gave more honest therapies about my feelings and my emotions.

The spiritual recovery program was manual to healthier living to become a much more caring loving and respectful person.

Because of my emotional triggers I felt vulnerable and feared emotional intimacy.

By attending the meetings my fears would drop and reduce and my trust in the meetings grew.

Their strength became my strength, their success became my success, their progress became my progress,  their confidence became my confidence, by working with others goals would become every day growth in me.

No matter when my last bet I was going to learn from it.

No matter if I had no money kept going to meetings.

There have been people who were not wanting to talk or not able to talk and healthy meetings encouraged them to attend meetings and in time they opened up in their own time.

The recovery program is not a race, the recovery program is a slow healing process.

I can say there were many people who did not think I would succeed at my recovery, I was one of them.

On entering recovery I was filled with guilt shame regret I felt like a complete failure.

Today the feelings I have towards myself have changed, no guilt no shame no more remorse, I am more confident I am more aware of my conscience and am able to trust myself today, my fears reduced, my learning skills have excelerated by so much, my enthusiasm to learn and take on more challenges in my life today.

By keeping at it I have become the person I knew I could be.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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