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1st time
Ok, so a little bit about me...

I'm in the British army, 32, married with 3 kids, I'm the forces and addicted to gambling ....

I have even gambling for around 10 years, and has been a massive part of mine and my family's life since.

It all started off playing low stakes poker tournament until while I was playing, I noticed I could play side games for slots - first few spins and BANG I won xx pounds.... That was me hooked..

Over time, I played and won and lost but to the point where I didn't know if I was gaining money or losing money - until a bank statement came and then it hit me that I was massively down...

Then it was the next chapter in my life..... Playing to gain my losses back....

Obviously as you all know that that didn't happen or to this day hasnt..

Fast forward around 8 years and am still in that rut..

I don't care about myself and quite frankly I think me not being here would relieve alot of people in my life... But what I'm doing to my wife and kids make me feel sick to my stomach. I'm so ashamed how clicking a button has meant so much in my life and not by choice how little I must think of my family.. 

My wife had been there holding me up through thick and thin and he is an amazing woman..

I did and have tried many times to stop the gambling and sometimes succeeded however from my own mistakes, we have not much money and literally get through each month by scraping.. 

Over a few months all I think is "if I gamble then surely my win will come... You know the outcome.. and im back to square one leaving my wife disappointed and depressed..

I need help and I think alot of it, my wife has tried to help as best as she can and I'm so thankful for her, but I think I need to do something to get my head to stop thinking some dark thoughts and take the burden off my wife
Hello fellow compulsive gambler.  The best thing you can do is give most of your money to your wife and let her give you a small allowance to gamble with. 

Additionally get your self to a meeting sometime in the next week or so. This will let you see and meet others whom have had their lives ruined by slot machines and other forms of gambling.  

I wanted to gamble an hour ago,  and i thought no ,  if it goes wrong again then i will be back to square one.  So i chose reluctantly to go on gamblers anonymous   right here.  This has completely taken my mind off that gambling bet i wanted to do.  I have been gambling since 2001.  So this is a major breakthrough for me. I am proud of myself that i didn't gamble and that i may have helped someone else ,  instead of being selfish.  

I too have kids and a wife.  

Thanks buddy and i hope you can see that gambling is so selfish and doesn't help anyone other than the big gambling companies.
Hi there,
Thanks for posting, your story is not unfamiliar.

What's good is that you already know you have a problem, and you know you can't solve it on your own.

I tried to give up everynight for 20 years, and most days following I was back gambling, convinving myself that I would really do it the next day.....I never did.

Until.....I decided that I needed to seek help, so I started with this website, I browsed the forums, read lots of stories and really empathised with the messages and words that I was reading. I looked at putting blocks in place to stop me gambling, and I actually went as far as barring myself from the local bookies that I frequented often and which were the biggest causes of me losing my money.

The real breakthrough though came when I opened up to my wife and my parents and made a solemn promise that I would go to GA and attend the program.

I thought I could go and be cured within a couple of months, but very soon I realised this illness is with me for life.
It will need constant attention to keep it at bay, and that the support I got (& continue to get from GA), is what is needed.

So, a bit of a long winded way to urge you to join in a local/non local meeting. You'll find people that really get and understand you, and will also have a wealth of experience and pointers for you to try to keep you off the gambling.

Keep talking to your wife, it's most important. I know that mine is an absolute rock too, and she is now proud of how I continue to address my problem.

Go to a meeting, bare your soul, get help where you need it (financial/mental/spiritual), and start your recovery for real.

Best wishes on every success along this journey

My last bet was 14th December 2017. I owe GA my life, for saving mine from misery and financial ruin.
Just for today, I will not gamble. And when I wake tomorrow, I will make that same promise to not gamble, just for today.

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