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My many fears use to feel so over powering of me when I was unhealthy
#1
Hi

I did not understand my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I could not cope with emotionally.

The pains of my child hood caused fears in me that I did not understand.

I am a non religious person and questioned if recovery would work for me.

The addictions and obsessions were a form of escape for me.

The money was just the fuel for my addiction and in time I would understand that money would not make me happy of would heal my hurt inner child.

I could not trust myself with money, once I handed over our finances recovery became simpler for me.

People were going to try and manipulate me in the recovery program, people would in fact dump a lot of pain anger fear and frustrations in the rooms, I was going to learn that in time I would heal from my pains and live my life with far less fear in my life.

Can a person face their fears with out understanding the ains that caused those fears, yes I do think so.

Every one has an opinion or a view as to how to heal their inner pains.

I use to feel jealous of other people success, in fact my unhealthy reaction was not their fault it was the simple fact I felt that I could no succeed where other people were successful.

I use to fear computers yet became a computer engineer.

I use to fear emotional intimacy, no problems today.

I use to fear the opposite sex, no problems today.

I use to fear the failure, no problems today.

The saying in my life today measure twice cut once.

How do we reduce our fears, the question I ask of myself what is the very worst thing that can happen and only if I am willing to accept the very worst thing that can happen then my fears will reduce.

Fear for me is the base feeling feeling of anxiety stress panic and nervousness.

I use to blame people life and situations for stressing me out, that was not true, it was my unhealthy reaction to  people life and situations that stressed me out.

The facade the front was very much fear based for me, the truth was I was protecting the hurt inner child in me.

By attending meetings I would see and feel myself in other people, hence the therapy exposed my vulnerability.

Was I ever going to reach my full potential as an adult, as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a healthy human being.

For me the recovery program is about healing the hurt inner child in me.

For me the recovery program was going to help me help myself become a much healthier person.

For me the recovery program was going to help me open up more and more and help me live a much healthier life.

For me the recovery program was going to help me understand what is healthy and what is unhealthy.
 
For me the recovery program was going to help me reduce my fears, help me become more and more productive.

The recovery program was going to help me become more motivated, help me understand procrastination was unhealthy for me, holding back was unhealthy for me.

Has every pain fo my past been healed, no not at all.

Yet my fears have been drastically reduced.

Being in recovery I am able to make far more healthier choices in my life today.

I am pleased to say that I am able to attend and talk at a recovery center and share my experiences and answer questions so that people can understand where I came from but more importantly how my days have improved being in a recovery program.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham.
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