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My emotional triggers were my Pains my Fears my Frustrations loneliness and Boredom

By keeping going to recovery meetings I would understand my emotional triggers which were my Pains my Fears my Frustrations loneliness and Boredom.

I felt like I could not help myself before my recovery, I felt like the addictions and the obsessions controlled my life and my thinking.

My emotional triggers which were my unhealthy reactions to people life and situations I felt like I had no control over.

The simple truth I felt like I could not heal my pains, I use to just bury them.

I could not face my fears one by one.

I could not seriously understand that my frustrations were due to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations and when things did not go my way I use to cause my self pains due to my unreasonable expectations, I was in effect causing my self pains time and time again.

My feelings of loneliness were all due to my fears of emotional intimacy.

My feelings of boredom were all due to me not feeling productive or worth while, I use to fear failure, I use to fear rejection and abandonment, I use to fear humiliation, I use to fear aggression and confrontation, strange because I use to cause aggression and confrontation, my lashing out was due to fact my hurt inner child was not healed or ahd resolve.

Talking about money lost achieves nothing, talking about being in action was not healthy for me.

In time healthy people would talk about being vulnerable why they could not cope and learn how to process feelings and emotions in a much healthier way.

The therapies exposed the real me, in time I would not want or need pity or sympathy I would want to move away from being the victim and stop living in the pains of my past, I would not live in the past I would learn from it.

The reason I remained being the victim was the simple fact I could not speak up for myself from a place of peace.

The rooms of recovery were places I could open up more and more of myself with out feeling fear or feeling threatened. 

The serenity prayer helped me understand that I could not control or regulate any body but myself.

It was possible to think that the serenity prayer would make me feel weaker, not so by accepting serenity prayer empowers me, sounds weird right.

In the rooms of recovery any person can find a  healthy recovery and healing with or with out having any religious belief system.

Sadly the simple facts show that not many people find a healthy life and inner peace, I feel that once we make a very serious conscious decision that our recovery is very important once we are fully committed to no longer give up faith or hope in our self we would make strides in our recovery.

How much do we value our self, how much time and effort are we willing to put in to place to find a healthy healing recovery.

Only once I recognized that I am an equal to all people only then I could say to myself if that person can do it so can I.

Understanding that delaying procrastinating and putting off my recovery I was cheating myself.

A healthy sponsor will enable the opening up the path of a healthy emotional intimacy.

A healthy sponsor will became a healthy friend.

A healthy sponsor will help a person move from being a dysfunctional person to becoming more and more a healthy self sufficient person.

A healthy sponsor will help people learn to listen to their own conscience, to trust their own instincts, to be honest with out being cruel, to be a healthier person each day.

The benefit of being in a recovery program is that most days feel like productive healthy days.

To be able to feel like every day is a productive day in every way possible.

To interact in my life today and to not react in unhealthy ways.

Is being angry healthy for me today.

Is living in fear healthy for me today.

Is burying and suppressing my pains healthy for me today.

Is bottling things up in me healthy for me today.

Is learning to love and respect myself healthy for me today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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