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I was so emotionally vulnerable I thought that peoples advice was control issues

I was so emotionally vulnerable long before my addictions and my obsessions.

I use to have control issues and felt uncomfortable at work.

I use to dread going to work, I use to wish my life away.

I use to have such high expectations of people life and situations and when things did not go my way I would cause myself pains due to my high expectations. 

I thought that peoples advice was control issues, I use to think that the recovery program was going to control my life and was going to stop me gambling.

That is how confused I was, only when I acknowledged that my addictions were very unhealthy for me and my family.

Every pain in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

The spiritual recovery program was going to help me help myself, to exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

What is the impact of putting great time and energy in to my life today.

I am less angry, I live in less fear today, in respecting myself I can respect other people.

I am less impatient and intolerant with myself, I do not beat myself up and do not call myself names today.

Each day I have more clarity and healthy focus.

So how did I determine my needs my wants and my goals.

How long to do things willingly, for me how long to move from being obsessive and out of balance to being productive.

The simple fact I could not be trusted having money on my person.

I felt like I was being treated like a little child handing over my money.

Over time I would learn to respect my self and I would learn to respect money.

The simple fact I am not able to heal if I am not willing to admit to myself my pains.

Recovery means healing, am I completely healed today.

Love and peace to every one.

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham

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