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Steps made simple for me to understand.
12 steps of spiritual recovery simplified for me
Step one we admitted we were powerless over gambling - that our lives had become unmanageable.
For me step one at first in my recovery I wanted to blame the gambling establishments for my pains fears frustrations and how I felt, the simple facts the gambling establishments did not make me do any thing I did not want to do.
Sadly, long before I took up my addictions and my obsessions I was living in my many fears and was emotionally vulnerable long before my addictions and obsessions.
My addictions and obsessions were the symptoms that I was emotionally vulnerable, when I was feeling my pains my fears and my frustrations, I would escape from facing my feelings and my emotions.
For me once in the spiritual recovery program I would both understand when I was emotionally vulnerable and how to deal with things in a healthier way without escaping or deviating any more.
Step Two Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to a normal way of thinking and living.
For me Step Two because I was a non-religious person, I would understand that spiritual values alone are the basis for healthy relationships with myself and other people.
For me the people’s therapies, their experiences and new-found skills would help me exchange unhealthy habits for healthy habits. But it was important for me to be honest with myself.
That being consumed by my addiction and my obsessions were not healthy for me.
In time you learn to trust the recovery program and you learn to trust yourself and have hope and faith in yourself once more.
Step Three Decided to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.
For me Step Three is about boundary setting, because we start to value our self, once we set boundaries we do it for our self we set boundaries from a place of peace, not from rage, not from anger, boundary setting means we value our self, the most important boundary is just for today I will not gamble.
Step Four Made a searching and fearless moral and financial inventory of ourselves.
For me Step Four is not about beating our self-up, it is also not about guilt tripping our self, or making our self feel bad, step four is about identifying the difference between what is healthy and what is unhealthy, as we get more honest with our self-first of all, and that is the build up to getting honest with other people over time.
Step Five Admitted to us and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
For me Step Five again it is not about right wrong good or bad, it is about identifying in our past behaviours unhealthy habits what was healthy and what is unhealthy, and in some way can we start to overcome the deepest-seated fears of emotional intimacy.
Step Six Were entirely ready to have these defects of character removed.
For me Step Six yes as we get honest, we identify our actions and words and by getting honest can we move from unhealthy habits which adversely affect our self and other people and change those into healthy habits and understand that unhealthy words and actions will adversely affect other people and our self.
To understand that every action and word in our life has consequences.
Step Seven Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings.
For me Step Seven the impact word is shortcomings, which indicates to me my failings and my deficiencies.
Before recovery every unhealthy habit or word would have failings indicators in our self and our relationships.
Due to a very unhealthy dysfunctional family people would blame escape responsibility, a dysfunctional family will want to keep goings on in the family home quiet and secret so that the victims do not speak out.
A dysfunctional family lacks healthy spiritual interactions, a dysfunctional family is not able to be nurturing and encouraging, a dysfunctional family is often living in fear and guilt, it was about bullying manipulation and causing fears in the home and keeping very unhealthy secrets.
Step Eight Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
For me step eight this is us being accountable to our self-first of all, is being free to be open about our past, to understand that our unhealthy actions habits or words adversely affected other people, causing them pain fears and frustrations.
Step Nine Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
For me Step Nine is about repairing relationships with other people if they can talk to or communicate with, it is important once we take responsibility, we in no way justify our unhealthy actions unhealthy habits or unhealthy words.
Just because we are honest and willing to repair relationships does not mean that people will heal from their pains, we caused them right away.
Sometimes people were living in their pains long before we came in to their lives, Do we understand our lies were a betrayal of their trust in us?
Step Ten Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
For me Step Ten at the end of each day am I doing inventory of myself and being accountable to myself, was there any thing that I did or said that adversely affected another person, can I learn from that experience in any way.
Step Eleven Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
For me Step Eleven in the spiritual recovery program as we face our fears, increase our trust in others and in our self, by this time we have not only recognized our pains but started to heal them, by this time we have faced each fear as we identify each one, and of course understood our frustrations and by reducing our expectations of people life and situations have stopped causing our self-pains.
Step Twelve Having made an effort to practice these spiritual principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other compulsive gamblers.
By demonstrating healthy spiritual values, respect, tolerance, healthy honesty, empathy, gratitude and appreciation, intimacy, sincerity, nurturing and encouraging, in depth therapies, no more unhealthy manipulation, no more unhealthy trying to control or regulate other people, to not take responsibility for another person progress in their recovery.
For me Step Twelve with each newfound skill, we are no longer the victim, we are no longer the perpetrator, we have had demonstrated to ourself how to be patient tolerant with our self and other people.
The newfound spiritual strength values and interactions we are no longer a threat to our self or other people, our fearlessness becomes other people fearlessness, our trust becomes other people trust, so we no longer have fear of emotional intimacy.
In the recovery program it was very important for me to become a very selfish person, to put value to myself and others, the spiritual recovery program is about healing our hurt inner child.
Any person religious or not can get healthy is they seriously put in the work.
The money was the fuel for my addictions, you can take away my money, yet the hurt inner child is still living in fears and wanting to escape in other ways may be in obsessions of any type.
To understand that our fears cannot be resolved with money alone.
To understand that our pains cannot be healed with money.
To love is to give of our self unconditionally, in being healthy to do things because we want to do them with no expectations what so ever.

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