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Just for today I will not gamble, I want to be the healthiest person I can be today.
#1
Hi

I am Dave a compulsive Gambler and a non religious person and I understand more about myself today than ever before my recovery.

Being a compulsive Gambler I could not find answers why I would escape to my addictions and obbsesion, I now understand that my addictions and obbsesion were the symptoms that I was very emotionally vulnerable.

I would escape in my fears to my addictions and obbsesions when I could not emotionally with my feelings and my emotions.

After along time in the recovery program I would understand what recovery meant to me, recovery is about healing our pains.

I did an inventory of the pains I had suffered in my life, today I understand there is nothig any one could do to me that I had already servived up to this date.

The pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.

I often found that text in the recovery did not healp me that much.

Often meetings raised more questions that answers, I was foten reuctant to open up and let people know how vulnerable I was.

The sharing had the biggest impact on my recovery and my healing.

Why did I go back to Gambling so often, in time I would understand most my emotional triggers, that was very powerful for me.

Often the rage that came out of me helped me undeerstand that hurt inner child in me that noted fully healed.

The funny thing was that I feared emotional intimacy, yet now more in my recovery I understand that what helped me heal was emotional intimacy

There was very little emotional intimacy due to hwo unhealthy I was. 

Then over many years I got to see and feel myself in other people, both the ehalthy and unealthy.

The better the therapies the more it helped me in so many ways, also other therapies therapies helped me i so many ways.

As my fears reduced my trust grew with my self and others.

As my fears reduced my intimacy grew and so did my relationships.

I am able to love myself and am abale to love other people.

I am able to respect myself and am abale to respect other people.

As I heal I am less angry, I am less envious, I am more tolerant and patient with myself.

Today I do not want to go back to Gambling because I know for sure it will cause myself and other people more pain.

Just for today I will not gamble has nothing to do about money or gambling, I want to heal more, I want to be the healthiest person I can be today.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK
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