01-01-2010, 05:30 PM
Hi Jo,
Thankyou for your "post".
Firstly - YOU should get in contact with "Gam-Anon" a sister fellowship to Gamblers Anonymous (GA) for people in your situation. Your life is being affected by the life that your partner is choosing to live for himself. "If you are affected by someone else's gambling; Gam-Anon can help!" Call 08700 50 88 80 or surf on down to <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.gamanon.org.uk">http://www.gamanon.org.uk</a><!-- m --> and click on the "Find a Meeting" icon. There is no substitute for attending meetings and it will help you, whether or not your partner stops gambling and whether or not your partner attends GA.
New Year, new start.
I am guessing that you may well think that you do not have a problem, but 'if only he would stop gambling........'? You too are in the early stages of a progressive deterioration and attendance at Gam-Anon meetings can help. You say that "I know until he faces up to it there is nothing I can do" but actually there is - you can go now to Gam-Anon and get the help that YOU need (even if you neither know nor accept that you need any).
Secondly - Does your partner WANT to stop? GA will be of benefit to ANY compulsive gambler who wishes to arrest the problem of their gambling. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling". Sadly it is of little help to someone who does not wish to stop gambling. Indeed, it is our experience, that sometimes unwanted intervention can delay a persons seeking of help (and getting recovery).
So to summarise - call the helpline 08700 50 88 80 and get yourself to a Gam-Anon meeting. If your partner wants to stop, then point him in the direction of GA [most Gam-Anon meetings take place at the same time as a GA meeting, often in the same building but a different room, so if he expresses an interest in finding out more, then take him with you when you go to your meeting - and push him through the GA door].
Hope this is of help.
Happy New Year!
Thankyou for your "post".
Firstly - YOU should get in contact with "Gam-Anon" a sister fellowship to Gamblers Anonymous (GA) for people in your situation. Your life is being affected by the life that your partner is choosing to live for himself. "If you are affected by someone else's gambling; Gam-Anon can help!" Call 08700 50 88 80 or surf on down to <!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.gamanon.org.uk">http://www.gamanon.org.uk</a><!-- m --> and click on the "Find a Meeting" icon. There is no substitute for attending meetings and it will help you, whether or not your partner stops gambling and whether or not your partner attends GA.
New Year, new start.
I am guessing that you may well think that you do not have a problem, but 'if only he would stop gambling........'? You too are in the early stages of a progressive deterioration and attendance at Gam-Anon meetings can help. You say that "I know until he faces up to it there is nothing I can do" but actually there is - you can go now to Gam-Anon and get the help that YOU need (even if you neither know nor accept that you need any).
Secondly - Does your partner WANT to stop? GA will be of benefit to ANY compulsive gambler who wishes to arrest the problem of their gambling. "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop gambling". Sadly it is of little help to someone who does not wish to stop gambling. Indeed, it is our experience, that sometimes unwanted intervention can delay a persons seeking of help (and getting recovery).
So to summarise - call the helpline 08700 50 88 80 and get yourself to a Gam-Anon meeting. If your partner wants to stop, then point him in the direction of GA [most Gam-Anon meetings take place at the same time as a GA meeting, often in the same building but a different room, so if he expresses an interest in finding out more, then take him with you when you go to your meeting - and push him through the GA door].
Hope this is of help.
Happy New Year!