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Andy's Story (update)
My name is Andy and Im a compulsive gambler. I'm now 175 days in to my recovery and having only had 1 slip last year I hope that I can make it no slips this year. But I will only take 1 day at a time because I know that is all I have. Last year was a very tough and hideous year and even though I didnt gamble I have been struggling all year with financial difficulty, and the same applies now as its tougher than ever. But I know if I gamble it will be impossible. Not only that, my life is one of loneliness and sadness really and after spending yet another new year and xmas alone, I only hope that this year will improve, otherwise its just not even worth being alive. I have tried to find new things to do and spending so much time alone I feel that gambling has taken my personality away and its never coming back, I dont know if It will, but I guess we will see what happens this year. Good luck to all and have a gambling free year. Andy
Hi Andy and welldone, 175 days is a fantastic achievement , you should be really proud <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin --> <!-- sBig Grin --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_biggrin.gif" alt="Big Grin" title="Very Happy" /><!-- sBig Grin -->
previous behaviours have a way of bitting us on the nose ie; whilst actively gambling solitude is sort to enable the disease to have full control , now you are in recovery you crave a little contact .
Not knowing your full circumstances its hard to know whats what, but have you thought of voluntary work ( not only a source of contact but its giving something back also ) GA chat is great to as there is many people who frequent the room and much great advice, support and lafter are heard over the screen.I get the impression your self esteem is low and i can also guess that your body language and possibly your appearance screams this ,so dust yourself off , splash on some after shave and wear a smile, positivety attracts positivety(try and see ).
take care Andy and keep up the great work <!-- sWink --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /><!-- sWink -->
Hi Andy, I think you know that I have been following your story now and am really sorry about your struggles and being alone. I promise you Andy that if you stay with the program and continue with your honesty that things will get better for you, sometimes we are a bit impatient and expect things to recover more quickly but think about the years of devastion your gambling gave you and really in the scheme of things a half year is not really that long. Andy even after 10 years of recovery I sometimes still feel the effects, especially from my family (some who will probably never come around) but I only really can do my best and follow the 12 steps required of me. I feel proud to have met you on this site and you are not alone, we can walk this together. Let the finances take care of themselves and just do your best in that respect. Have you a sponsor Andy? If not, can I suggest that you approach someone who you feel comfortable with and then you will have much more support and be able to share your personal problems with that person.
Please keep coming back here and sharing with us.
God Bless you Andy
Helen GA Australia
Thank you for your replies to my story.
Thanks to you Helen and your advice,that is very true what you say and yes I do expect to be feeling better after 6 months,but as you said,we are very impatient and I am so much so I absolutely scream and shout and go into a rage if I get stuck in traffic or things dont happen immidietly,I cant help it.But never seem to get good things happening,always bad.Perhaps this is why I dont wear a smile and find it hard to be happy about nothing and each day just rolling into the next.
180 days now without a bet and I cant help counting the days because it was around this time I slipped again,6 months ago,and now I dont want to do the same again.
But my lifestyle hasnt really changed that much,and not enough positives happening to divert me from gambling.
But just for today I havent gambled.
Andy - what an amazing achievement I'm so proud of you.

I'm typing in the dark as my daughter is in her bed fast asleep as it is 22:18.

The guilt and despair that we all feel is something that we need to use as a positive, drive us on for a better life a more rewarding life.

I haven’t gambled today and pray I wont tomorrow. My wife hates me, actually more hates me for what I have done. But I thank god that at this moment in time my daughter is with me tonight.

Andy I've been a bookmaker and am a compulsive gambler and I have to live with what I have done on both flips of the coin.

You are an amazing person a credit to mankind and if we all can share a little of your courage the world can be a gamble free one.

My best regards.

Im just browsing the web reading stories to build up my defences, four years nearly free for me. I dont have access to GA rooms, wish I did but im oversees. Lonliness is all part of being a compulsive gambler but if you add another 175days there will be something somewhere when you meet that person who will listen the most, trust and become your friend. Im lonly but today I didnt gamble, I will say the same tommorow, either way I dont have to hurt anyone else and most of all myself. Great acheivement keep up the good work if you follow that day by day rule it will come back to reward you and lonliness will also be a thing of the past. Its the hurdles we face.

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