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I'm frightened.
#1
Hi, my name's Andy and I'm 57 and I've been a compulsive gambler all my adult life. I first contacted GA 11th December last year and I haven't had a bet since.

You've already done the hardest thing by admitting to yourself that you have this shocking illness which all gamblers share and by contacting GA. If someone like me who has lost thousands of pounds over 40 years and done untold damage to my friends and family can begin to gain control over my life, anyone can. There is always hope and I beg you to go to your local meeting and feel the understanding and support of others who really understand. It ain't easy but it is doable. All the luck and love in the world to you.

Andy
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#2
The first thing to do is go to a GA meeting in your area - I have just gone to one having put living with my wife and 3 kids at risk and I know I have one chance to put it right - and I feel it has been such a help after just one meeting, and I will be going again for the foreseeable future.
Please make the effort to go. The 3 books they gave me really highlighted some issues I was facing and made me realise what lies behind my incesscant need to gamble the money I should be buying food and clothes with.
One day at a time - Tell your husband - the biggest damage I did was deceiving my wife not the money spent with lie after lie - it will be tough but you can beat it. Give over control of money to him and then phone and arrange for your debts to be sorted as they are likely to cause a big problem if you let them build up. Very importantly never ever agree to anything with creditors putting you under pressure!! Get it all out in the open its hard but worthwhile as you need the support of those around you to beat it.
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#3
Hi ngp1960

I remember the feeling... the postie arriving with the mail... the dread...knowing that I would almost certainly have another letter from a creditor. Eventually I would just ignore the mailbox until it overflowed. Then I would pick up all letters, and without reading where they had come from I would throw them in the rubbish! Problem solved! Out of sight, out of mind.

Unfortunately, between the mail & the phone calls ( the phone calls were the worst ) & a few other problems it all became too much. I had gambled hundreds of thousands, lied to creditors & family, borrowed ( stole ) money from family...you name it I did it, or thought of doing it.

Eventually I attempted suicide. That's a story in itself...just was not meant to be.

I was at rock bottom...loathing,hating myself etc...we all know how we feel about ourselves.

But, that was when I attended my first GA meeting. Then I realised, I was not alone. The people in the room were not "bums"
or "deadbeats". They were normal everyday people, just like me...and YOU! We can relate to each other.

Whilst I believe this forum & others like it are great, I firmly believe that the best way to attempt to beat this addiction is to attend GA meetings. Talk to people who know how you feel. Face to face. Friend to friend. They have been thru what you are going thru. Just a group of fellow gamblers who have one desire...to stop gambling. They can & are willing to help you.

Best wishes
roy (from downunder)
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#4
Hi
I have been in the position of not having the courage to make those calls.
After 20 years of struggling with my own gambling problem I finaly got to the stage where I admitted that gambling had got me completly beaten. I had got to the stage where I had exhausted all legal means of credit and had gone down the route of theft which had taken me to the Crown Court.
Please find your way to a meeting as soon as possible and you would not be the first who prior to the meeting fealt totaly worthless and walked out believing that this illness can be beaten a day at a time and with help from those who have helped others to help themselves.

Matt W
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#5
mattw Wrote:Hi
I have been in the position of not having the courage to make those calls.
After 20 years of struggling with my own gambling problem I finaly got to the stage where I admitted that gambling had got me completly beaten. I had got to the stage where I had exhausted all legal means of credit and had gone down the route of theft which had taken me to the Crown Court.
Please find your way to a meeting as soon as possible and you would not be the first who prior to the meeting fealt totaly worthless and walked out believing that this illness can be beaten a day at a time and with help from those who have helped others to help themselves.

Matt W
happygirl143 Wrote:Hi

I am new here myself. I started with the online bingo sites, pretty harmless jeeze <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> then I went onto the slots. We are in the position of paying off our creditors and the only reason they are still getting paid is because I have absolutly nothing to do with our money anymore. My husbands makes sure everything gets paid, I no longer have as much as a bank card/debit card so I cant go online. I found this has really helped as I could always get round the blocking software no matter what he put on my laptop. I cancelled my cards, saying they were lost, so any cards already registered are useless. I am only a couple of weeks free from gambling but this has helped. I intent to go to meetings i physically cant at the minute as i have broke my ankle, I know the only way I will stay free from gambling is to attend meetings. My husband has heard it all before from me as well, never again etc I really thought he was going to leave this time, but he is prepared to help me fight this. Maybe you could talk to your husband and hand over control of your finances to him until you feel you can be trusted again.

Happygirl x
hi im new today i am a gambler and am about to start ga meetings on monday do i just turn up,what is killing me now is i am only 43 and have been with my husband for 27 years and love him to bits and i know he loved me the same but after all the gambling i have done and compulsive spending he decided to walk out on me on the 14th dec this year had no xmas,i cant help what i have done,should have sorted it years ago he new what was happening and just let me carry on,dont think he realises what an ilness it is how can i sort this i love him so much
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#6
I have just read this post and I have to say as the wife of a man who has got us into serious debt I think you need to re examine what you have written there as the answer to me lies within it ! You say he " knew " what you were doing and let it carry on ! You are saying it is an illness and so it is but you need to take ownership of it ! You don't seem to have still faced up entirely to the fact that you have done this , your husband isn't responsible for any of this ! If my husband said to me that I had done nothing to stop him I would think he was still making excuses and not giving it 100% so yes I would walk ! If however you say to your husband " I know this is all my fault and I must take the sole resposibilty but I love you and will do whatever you ask in order for you to give the support I need to fix it " and then carry it through I may view things differently. He needs results not excuses and until you are ready to get them he has no option in my humble opinion. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I mean it to help you as I am in your husbands shoes and it isn't so great there either ! The gambler isn't the only victim in this !
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