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help me please
i am new today,and really need help,i have been married for 25 years soon and been with my husband for 27 years, and love him to bits,i have been a gambler for years and years and a compulsive spender,always buying new furniture and changing decor,dont know why i do it.on the 14th dec this year my husband decided to walk out on me,due to all the gambling and spending,no warning just went,he new what i had been doing for years,and let me carry on doing it,i dont think he realises that it is an ilness,i am going to start ga on monday coming,i want my life back now but would give anything for my husband to come home,he says he cant trust me no more and his feeling have gone away,but yet the week before,we had a brill weekend he said loads of nice things to me,so why or how can your feelings just dissapear in a week it doesnt make sense,can anyone explain this or been in a similar situation if so let me know as i am at the end of my tether and now just want to put things right and prove i can do this for me and all my family
There are a lot of people in your situation inside and outside GA, you have realised that you need help and are willing to accept it but you have to realise that our partners, wives, husbands, and families deserve better than we have given them and trust shoud not be wanted back nor deserved. stop gambling for you and not just to acheive a point in a relationship,that way if they never return you will still try to stop. GA does work if you let it
Hi babyblue, im sorry to hear of your current situation but as already stated this problem is very destructive and eventually if continued will strip you of everything including much more important issues than the financial aspect. Your partner like many partners of compulsive gamblers has obviously reached the end of his tether and possibly made this decision as a last resort to try and get you to appreciate what you stand to lose. Trust and love will not be regained overnight especially after gambling long term but with a concerted effort and regular attendance of a ga meeting things will quickly improve and hopefully further down the line your relationship can be rekindled. Please though dont use your partners departure as an excuse to continue gambling as this will undoubtably create further misery. There are some wonderful people on this site who have arrested this devastation long term even after gambling for many years and they will all say the same their lives have improved remarkably, best of luck Dek.
Hello and welcome,
Sorry it's taken your husband walking out on you for you to finally get help but this is what he probably wanted to happen and is hoping like heck that you will wake up and get the help you need. Concentrate on yourself and go to the meeting and realize that it is going to be a long term thing not an overnight fix. My husband also walked out on me 10 years ago and looking back it's a wonder he hadn't done it earlier, unfortunately we never did get back together but that was no longer my problem, I had to work on myself and still will everyday of the rest of my life. It's not just our gambling or spending it's our character that we have to concentrate on and when you go to the meeting you will hear the stories of recovery and that's where you will find hope. Do not be over whelmed at what you hear and you will not have to stand and tell your story if you don't want to but once you do you will find a great relief.
Sometimes family, friends and relationships may never be mended but along the way you will have a whole new life that you will be able to embrace, but only with full recovery from compulsive gambling.
You take care and enjoy your first meeting next week and come back and let us know how you are doing, this is always a good place to vent your feelings.
Helen GA Australia

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