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hi
#11
Just an update on my story, i got caught my husband had found out about my gambling problem and the fact i have been liying about money constantly. I know i should have told him, but i could not find the words to explain what i have done. he found out by getting letter from bank saying mortgage hadn't been paid, then it all came out. I have to admit what a relief it is, my whole family know and his, and they have all been great and are going to be there for me, my husband was leaving at first and i really thought he would. After a few days things have calmed down and we are going to work this mess out, starting with finances, trust is going to take a lot longer to sort out. My husband is taking over everything so i dont have access to money. I have promised i will not do it again, but hav told them the urge is still there, just trying to think what i ahve done and that seems to stop me from going on again. Thanks for your advise everyone, this is the start of my new life
fiona x
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#12
Hi, im new on here today too as i am sick and tired of feeling sick through gambling. Ive checked out my local meeting locations and there are a couple around 16 miles from me. I am no stranger to meetings and steps being a recovering member of AA (nine years without a drink) yet gambling has always been a part of me that ive never let go. It stems back to the days when my dad was alive and we used to go to the amusments back on pennies then! Well, ive had a day today where i feel physically sick, hundreds of pounds on FOB Terminals and what a fool i feel i am; its time to do something and i know i cant do it alone. Just by talking about it on here is helping me. Ive kidded myself i can give up gambling and my small bets wont hurt, but it is hurting, the best are increasing and like Fiona ive been chasing my losses, doubling up the bets and getting. My wife dont know too about my gambling, its a secret and so far i havent dipped into our joint account. Im using my slush fund bank account but i still feel its sickenly dishonest as that money, although mine, could be spent on my kids and family instead. I gamble when im happy, gamble when im sad and even when im up i keep going and going as it it isnt real....but it is and thats when i see im flat broke again...i just keep going and i dont know why?? NEED HELP, thanks for listening to me. M
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#13
Hi Fiona

Glad to hear your husband knows about your gambling now that is one of the hardest steps you have taken even tho you got found out like me !!
It feels like a big weight off your shoulders when it all comes out doesnt it ? as us gamblers were so secretive in everything we did.You are extremely lucky as your husband is standing by you and helping you this is what my wife did first time round but after so long i went back gambling and this time we are living apart and she doesnt know if she can ever trust me again !!
All i will say is make sure u dont gamble as the consequences might be greater next time and its really not worth it.

Good luck
Darren
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#14
Hi Fiona,

I am glad that everything is now out in the open for you. I expect the relief from the stress feels good. I suggest you try to let go any thoughts you may have regarding wishing you could get the money back. Whilst the losses still eat away at you, the urge to gamble will increase. You have have to accept that it is gone for good and can only be recovered by working hard for it and leading a gamble free life. The first time I stopped gambling, I hadn't accepted the amount I lost and I hadn't fully accepted that I was a compulsive gambler. The money played on the back of my mind and after a few months I started gambling again. The second time it was more severe. I was very lucky and my partner decided to stay with me after coming clean a second time.

I am now attending GA meetings and although I have only been to 2, they have made a huge difference. If you can attend, then do so as fast as you can.

Good luck

S_A_L
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#15
i am back on here, not good news i am afraid! I HAVE DONE IT AGAIN, i dont what is happening with me, what i am doing, everything has been pretty good lately and was getting myself on track, up to date with all my bills, then i go an do this. No reason for doing it other than trying to win back what i hav lost, stupid i know!! no one knows yet, that i hav started and spent loads already!!! what to do i dont know/?????
my husband said he had wiped everything off computer, but hadnt, obviously trusting me again, and i have blown it big time.

WHY DO I DO THIS?? U never hear of any good news from gambling, u would think that would teach us. I dont know what is going to happen next, right now i am still thinking i need to try and win it back, i know deep down this is never going to happen, and i should myself erase these sites.


thanks for listening and i appreciate your comments

fiona
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#16
Hi Fiona

Sorry to hear that you have been back gambling, but you have done the hardest thing in telling everyone about your addiction so telling your husband about your gambling again should be easy even though he wont be happy tell him asap and you both can sort it out i am sure you can even though he will be angry with you.

I have access to my laptop but am not interested in going onto any gambling sites, things will get better and easier if you are ready to give up gambling but you really have to want to. As someone said in a previous response you dont realise what you have got until it not there meaning your family !!

Hope to hear good news next time and keep your chin up !!

Darren
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#17
Thanks darren,

I just feel like i have let him down big time, i will tell him as the only way i can go through this is by telling the truth and getting the help i need. for me its not the aim to win more, its the aim to win what i have lost!!! It ends up getting worse each time if you know what i mean.

Anyway i know i have a problem and i will def tell my husband so he can try and help me!

Hope things are better for you too darren

Fiona x
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#18
Hi Fiona

Hope things are ok and you are NOT gambling still and you managed to tell your husband ?

That is one thing that you have got to realise is that you will NEVER win back what you have already lost !! and untill you realise this and its very hard, gambling will always have a hold on you.

I can honestly say that once you admitt this and realise it things will start to get a liitle better and a little easier to cope with !!

Things for me are starting to get a bit better but only because i dont want anything to do with gambling in my life anymore !!

Good Luck
Darren
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#19
hi fiona,
Hope all turns out for you and your family. Attending ga meetings WILL HELP YOU even if it is just one or two meetings . i hope you can take on board what dave was saying as its all good advice. I read about how your recovery is going .
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