15-03-2010, 01:35 PM
hi dave and everyone else.
Needless to say i still havent come clean, i have managed to juggle bills, money and at the same time still betting. I can't help it, i want to stop, but i also want to win, i dont go on to have fun thats the last thing i am wanting. The way i bet is only on-line as i can get away with that, i was feeling desperate for a while, i won also which has helped slightly. i keep saying that if i can just sort out my finances, bills then i would stop. The lies have gotten worse, my mum and dad think i hav stopped before it got to serious. Noone would undestand what i do, other than on here, my friends, family hav no idea, especially my husband. i know its a matter of time, and dave i hav tried but we got on the subject of gambling, addictions with friends one nite and he said he couldnt understand anyone that could do that, so i hav kept it too myself and it is eating away at me, physically i have lost over a stone in weight, my husband has noticed but thinks i am starving myself to get thin, little does he know its due to stress of money, lies, worry. God i sound so pathetic i know, there isnt any ga nearby and i hav two small children so not easy at nites, on-line would be better for me.
Right now i am going through all my bills, debt trying to sort them out, but it always comes back to my only way out is to win some money!!!
Needless to say i still havent come clean, i have managed to juggle bills, money and at the same time still betting. I can't help it, i want to stop, but i also want to win, i dont go on to have fun thats the last thing i am wanting. The way i bet is only on-line as i can get away with that, i was feeling desperate for a while, i won also which has helped slightly. i keep saying that if i can just sort out my finances, bills then i would stop. The lies have gotten worse, my mum and dad think i hav stopped before it got to serious. Noone would undestand what i do, other than on here, my friends, family hav no idea, especially my husband. i know its a matter of time, and dave i hav tried but we got on the subject of gambling, addictions with friends one nite and he said he couldnt understand anyone that could do that, so i hav kept it too myself and it is eating away at me, physically i have lost over a stone in weight, my husband has noticed but thinks i am starving myself to get thin, little does he know its due to stress of money, lies, worry. God i sound so pathetic i know, there isnt any ga nearby and i hav two small children so not easy at nites, on-line would be better for me.
Right now i am going through all my bills, debt trying to sort them out, but it always comes back to my only way out is to win some money!!!