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My Story - advice gratefully recieved
I'm new to this site. I've tried various ways to stop gambling, but never turned to a group like this before. So here's my "story"

Hi. I'm 22 this month, and I started gambling at approximately 18.
I guess my story must be similar to many other peoples, but that does not make it any less scary or daunting for me, finding myself in the financial situation I am now in.

I began as just a casual gambler , maybe once every couple of weeks as a social occassion with my friends. No problem.
But after a while, me and another friend started going together far more regularly and even though we were still only playing small stakes, I could still feel a real love for the games growing.
And soon enough I found myself visiting on my own, from time to time.
To cut a long story short, I became obsessed to the point of spending every penny of my wages on gambling, whether it be betting on dogs, putting it in slot machines and arcade machines, throwing it away at the croupiers of the casinos, depositing it online on internet sites, or even on my downloaded casino games on my mobile phone. I would simply spend it with no regard to my bills, board, living and travel costs, thinking "I'll worry about that when it comes".
To begin with, I found when I had been stupid with my money, I could make up a story and borrow money off family and friends to see me through, but obviously in time they began to become wary of lending money to me.
I shook myself up once when I had gambled all my money for the month, and I discovered mobile gambling.. sure enough, by the time next month came around, and I was expecting a decent wage, I had a phonebill to pay due to all the irresponsible gambling deposits I had made on there. Needless to say I couldn't pay it, my phone was cut off, it was transferred to the debt collectors, and it was around about this time I admitted to myself and myself only that I have a problem.
Many times family would become slightly suspicious, if they had read a bank statement i had left lying around, or seen the type of envelopes coming through the door, but I would brush it off and make up excuses and lie to them and any story really so they didn't know the truth.
But soon I was extending overdrafts, taking out credit cards, applying for loans - anything that I thought would temporarily give me the opportunity to get that hour-long thrill of watching the cards fly by and my money with it. Up, down, gone. Find more money from anywhere. Up, down, gone. Find more money from anywhere. Etc. And as can be expected, suddenly I found myself with several thousand pounds worth of debt.
I was then taking out more finance to cover debts due to gambling, which piled my debt even higher, and I got rather swamped. But then I sat myself down and said to myself, sort yourself out. And for a couple of weeks, I stopped thinking about it. I stopped getting the uncontrollable urge to play the game, and began organising my finances. Once the itches came back to me, i decided to run away, and so I set up a few payment plans to tick over in England, and got a job in spain. For the first 5 months of the holiday season (I was a holiday rep), I thought about gambling very very little. I was so busy, so occupied, that I just enjoyed my work, and let the debts very very slowly manage themself back in england. But as I got used to the routine of my work, thoughts began to creep through my head. And soon enough, I'd found slot machines and bandits in nooks and crannys in my holiday resort. And once I had spent all my wages and commission, I started dipping into company money and then having to explain why it was missing to my superiors etc, and two months later by the time I got back into England, I was back into my old ways. And even though a credit card and half a loan had been payed, I still had more debt to clear from the first time round.
My first month back wasn't so bad, my second began to deteriorate rapidly, and soon I was owing more debt to fast, high interest lending companies, and was putting all the wages from both jobs into gambling. I was at a loss, I had so many expenses, but zero money to pay, that I took out a debt management agreement. And whilst it meant I had no money to spend, at least my debt was in their hands, I was paying them a reasonable sum, and my thoughts told me that I could now stop, let my finances repair, and just work my way out of it and start enjoying life. Which brings me to about 1 month ago. No money, but no major worries.
Then I started a new phone contract... at first, it was fine. But suddenly, all of the mobile gambling applications were downloaded, and as much as I told myself NO, you cannot afford this, your debt management company cannot take any more on for you, and you will get your phone locked and still have to pay the amount PLUS the remaining 18 months of your contract... I found myself making deposit after deposit after deposit... and that brings me to now.
Two weeks away from payday, only just enough money coming in at that point to cover my existing outgoings, no sources willing to help or lend money, , and the overwhelming urge to win back my money, only I don't have any more to deposit.
Everytime I gamble, I feel a short buzz or thrill, followed by a much longer sickening feeling, and I've been suffering with this for too many years now, I'm fed up, I want to get rid of everything. I want to get rid of my debt, my money worries... but that isn't feasible. The most important however, I want to be rid of gambling. But as I'm sure many are aware, that's easier said than done.
Currently, I have blocked myself from several internet sites, and I have no money to bet with, but that constant hunger to play the game is eating away at me and i need it to go. I've already messed up a huge chunk of my life and I don't know how to fix that, it's going to take a while, but I want to stop now before it messes up even more of my life.
oh my god how very very is now april and i also am new to this site how are you doin ?? i do go on the live chat come and join me asap.. i know that sick feeling only too well.. i think we gamblers are stupid and enjoy hurting
Hi jimbonathon

Do yourself the biggest favour you will ever do for yourself.

Get to a GA meeting as soon as you can.

Your situation can & will get worse if you continue to gamble. I know you know that. Just as I did when I was gambling. The only way out of the hole you have dug yourself is to seek help.

The best thing about your situation at the moment is that you are young enough to be able to work your way out of the debt you have found yourself in. Some of us are a 'bit longer in the tooth'....
don't make the same mistake that many of us have done in the NOT ignore this problem.

Best wishes

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