16-02-2010, 01:11 PM
Hi all,
Two years ago my 'then' fiance admitted to me that he was a gambler and was in considerable debt. After a lot of heart ache we managed to get a loan to cover the debt (which we are still paying off). At the time I felt a mixture of emotions, mainly anger and upset that he could do this to us. Over time I understood that it was not his fault and it is an illness but I have never 100% trusted that he wouldn't do it again. I threatened our relationship if I caught him doing it again but in all honesty I knew it was an empty threat because I loved him so much and I believe he knew this as well. We got married last year and along with the debt of the loan we also had the debt of a wedding over hanging us.
My husband went one year without gambling. That was until yesterday. He came home and i knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me what. Later he told me that he gone to the bookies. I was upset and now I don't know what to do.
He has never been to a meeting and didn't gamble for a year off his own back. As his wife I feel helpless. I find it hard to talk about and normally end up crying. As a partner to a gambler what should I do? How can I help him? I find that he gets very defensive if I try and help him in any way. Any advice from you guys would be great.
Thank you x
Two years ago my 'then' fiance admitted to me that he was a gambler and was in considerable debt. After a lot of heart ache we managed to get a loan to cover the debt (which we are still paying off). At the time I felt a mixture of emotions, mainly anger and upset that he could do this to us. Over time I understood that it was not his fault and it is an illness but I have never 100% trusted that he wouldn't do it again. I threatened our relationship if I caught him doing it again but in all honesty I knew it was an empty threat because I loved him so much and I believe he knew this as well. We got married last year and along with the debt of the loan we also had the debt of a wedding over hanging us.
My husband went one year without gambling. That was until yesterday. He came home and i knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me what. Later he told me that he gone to the bookies. I was upset and now I don't know what to do.
He has never been to a meeting and didn't gamble for a year off his own back. As his wife I feel helpless. I find it hard to talk about and normally end up crying. As a partner to a gambler what should I do? How can I help him? I find that he gets very defensive if I try and help him in any way. Any advice from you guys would be great.
Thank you x