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My husband has started again...
Hi all,

Two years ago my 'then' fiance admitted to me that he was a gambler and was in considerable debt. After a lot of heart ache we managed to get a loan to cover the debt (which we are still paying off). At the time I felt a mixture of emotions, mainly anger and upset that he could do this to us. Over time I understood that it was not his fault and it is an illness but I have never 100% trusted that he wouldn't do it again. I threatened our relationship if I caught him doing it again but in all honesty I knew it was an empty threat because I loved him so much and I believe he knew this as well. We got married last year and along with the debt of the loan we also had the debt of a wedding over hanging us.

My husband went one year without gambling. That was until yesterday. He came home and i knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me what. Later he told me that he gone to the bookies. I was upset and now I don't know what to do.

He has never been to a meeting and didn't gamble for a year off his own back. As his wife I feel helpless. I find it hard to talk about and normally end up crying. As a partner to a gambler what should I do? How can I help him? I find that he gets very defensive if I try and help him in any way. Any advice from you guys would be great.

Thank you x

I am a Compulsive Gambler. Yes, you are right, we as CG's are like little children, & it is very hard to try
and talk to us about our problem. If he gets upset, steer clear of the subject as best you can.

Having said that, he does know he has a problem. Can you try to talk to him re Gamblers Anonymous?
We are all fellow gamblers, and know of all his problems. We have all been there before so to speak. <!-- sSmile --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="Smile" title="Smile" /><!-- sSmile -->

Perhaps suggest he could ring a helpline and get some advice? GAMCARE does run a helpline service online. Either way, he would be totally anonymous.

The other avenue for you is GAMANON. It is run by relaatives of gamblers, and it's members are all relatives or friends
of the gambler. They will be able to talk about your problem from your perspective. This would be very helpful to you
in understanding what is involved in overcoming this addiction.

Best wishes
I am in exactly the same boat , but as far as i am aware my husband has not done it for 3 years. We got married just under 2 years ago and now have our first child who is 8 months. I like you knew something was wrong but he wouldn't tell me. I foud out when i was looking for something in his coat. He then had no choice to admit it, i then found out that it was the 3rd time this week. I am so lost as its not just about the two of us anymore there is a child involved. I feel sick. I just dont know how to feel and what the future holds now

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