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need some advice in my dad thanks
#1
Hi there my name is michelle and i am hopin to get some advice for bein able to help my dad.
2 years ago my dad lost his job and was at the beginning of gettin into debt , he then had alot of savings which he then started travelin to las vegas every few months and he beleived that he was able to make money from gamblin i think that also during this time he was also using online betting and goin to the bookies on a daily basis and of course money ran out when he had made 'friends ' in the bookies who then offered him money to tide him over we have now learned that of course these friends were infact loan sharks and as my dad was gambling constantly and had alot of trouble gettin the money back on the due time , he was threatned and also punched int he face and we his family was also bein threatned by this loan shark so in the end my dad had to take over half of my mums hard worked wages to pay him off but doin this he got behind on all his bills , at this time he was on anti depressants which we all beleived he was takin because he couldnt find a job but we now know it was because of the gamblin and constant worrying about how to pay the bills . Now when i think we are all gettin back to normal we find out that he has started gamblin again and i dont know how exactly to handle it , my inital thinkin is to sit down as a family and try to speak to him and make him realise what his last bout of gamblin did to us all as a family and that gamblin cannot be controlled as he thinks he can , any advice would be greatly appreciated as i love my dad very much and know he can beat this im jsut at a loss on how to try and help <!-- sCry --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_cry.gif" alt="Cry" title="Crying or Very Sad" /><!-- sCry -->
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#2
Hi Miche82

I am a Compulsive Gambler. Your dad needs help as u have said. Unfortunately, unless he wants to stop, he wont.
If, as a family group, you feel that you can all sit down & have a "little chat", by all means do so. BUT, be very careful.
He will probably not want to hear about his problem being spoken about openly. As CG's we are like little children, try amd
steer us in one direction & we might revolt & go in the other direction.

Perhaps GAMANON, or some of their members would be better informed on how to deal with this?
They will aslo be able to help you with the emotional side of this. Even though I am a CG, I cannot really relate to the problems we as CG's cause our families.

Finally, try & keep any money you can away from your father. That does not mean hiding it under the bed!
Perhaps open new accounts for both you & your mother, so he can't access them. Do NOT lend him money!

Best wishes
roy
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#3
Hi,
So sorry to hear your story - its so sad! I havent really got any advice - my husband is a gambler too and hopefully he will be going to his first GA meeting today (but believe it or not he is sick today so probably wont even get there). I too have been through all the emotions and have three small children to care for too so I know exactly all the feelings you are feeling. I dont understand how he can do this to us but have been told it is part of the illness and its not personal...! We are trying to work through it, and hopefully you will too. Can you get him to go to a meeting? At least you will feel he is trying - it is the first step. Sorry cant be of much help but didnt want to leave you hanging with no replies - although people read the posts they dont seem to reply much! Please try and stay strong - easy to say I know - let us know how you get on and I wish you lots of luck and hopefully one day it will be a distant memory for both of us. Take care x
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