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Never ends
Hi all

I am 32 and have been gambling compulsively for 19 years. Last year I went to gamcare therapy (I had been to meetings before but they never really worked) and finally managed to stop for an extended period. Then in January I went into a bookies again and played roulette. I was up and went again a few days later and won again. This continued and I have now lost everything, including my salary for this month. My years of gambling ruined my credit record, trust from friends and family and trust of my employers (who fortunately supported me through the worst). Just after I was making things right with all those around me I have done this again. I have self exclusion from all the betting shops in my area but with 2000 shops in London all I need to do is get on a bus to find one I can still play at. I have gambling blocking software on my PC but have now discovered some sites bypass it and have been playing online again too.

I had open surgery 2 weeks ago to remove a tumor and have been told to go on a balanced diet to assist with my healing. I was also told to take a month off work. This is not going to happen. Just getting enough to eat this month is going to be a struggle, never mind the right food to eat. This morning I had to borrow money from a payday loan company at a ridiculous interest rate just to get me through the month. I am lying in bed with a debilitating stress headache wondering what to do next. I can't go to the friends and family who have reluctantly taken me back nor to my employers who put the past aside and waited for me to finish with therapy. I have no idea what to do.
Hi Johnnyb

We keep on saying that there are consequences for our actions. You are now going to live with those consequences, bad diet & all.
Have you had enough of the worry, sleepless nights, unpaid bills etc. yet?

The only way your stress levels are going to improve in the longterm is if you can stop gambling.
You say you have no idea what to do....Of course you know what to do!
At this stage you seem unwilling to face the fact that ultimately, whether we gamble or not,
is entirely up to us.

In my opinion self exclusion is just a "feel good" initiative by Governements & the gambling industry.
When I was gambling I would quite happily drive 3 hours to a venue. How do I self exclude for a radius of 180 miles? The same reasoning applies to "blocking software. If I couldn't gamble online, what's to stop me walking to the pub? etc...

My weekly GA meeting reminds me that I have a problem. It also reminds me that I have a choice. I CHOOSE not to gamble. What is your choice?

Best wishes

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